“Is everything okay?” I ask, already bracing myself for more bad news.
“Depends on your definition of okay.”
I let out a breath and sink further into the couch. My throat begins to tighten. I don’t want to imagine what’s happened that’s caused someone to finally pick up the phone.
“The band’s record deal is finalized,” Johanna said once she realized I wasn’t going to respond.
“I heard. Jake called—left it on my voicemail.”
There’s a pause.
“There’s a show in Austin in a few days to close out the tour and announce the deal officially. It’s a whole thing—massive venue, a ton of industry people.”
So far, nothing I haven’t already heard, and nothing that makes me want to change my mind.
“Mia,” she continues. “This isn’t just about the label. Or the band. Or even Grayson. This is about you. You helped build this. We all know he wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. Please come celebrate with us.”
My chest aches, the flames in my throat far from extinguished.
“He said he needed space, Johanna. He washorribleto me that night. I’m not going to haul my ass to Austin just to be told he doesn’t want me there.”
“He’s a fucking mess, Mia,” she says. “He wants you there more than anything. He’s just too damn proud and broken to say it himself. I couldn’t watch it anymore—I had to call you.”
I close my eyes and try to imagine that what she’s saying is true. Is he really hurting the same way I am?
“I know he was a dick to you. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that you coming to this show is going to fix everything. But I know one thing—he’s never stopped loving you. He’s not okay, and it’s not just because our mom died. It’s because our mom died and you’re not here.”
I swallow hard. “I never stopped loving him either.”
Another pause fills the space as we allow the truth to sink in between us.
“Where are you?”
“At Makenna’s—in Boston.”
“I’m going to tell Jake to put a ticket on hold to get you to Austin,” she tells me. “Use it. Or don’t. I can’t make the decision for you. But if you’re eventhinkingabout seeing my brother again, let it be now. Don’t let what happened in Miami be the last thing you say to each other.”
I bite my lip, a tear slipping free before I can stop it. Something deep inside has already shifted, and I know she has a point.
“I’ll think about it,” I say quietly, not wanting to make too many promises.
Johanna exhales, like that alone is more than she expected.
“If it means anything, I want you there. The guys do. Rylee does. I hope you’ll get on the plane.”
She doesn’t say goodbye. She just hangs up, leaving the silence lingering in the air once again.
Chapter forty-two
"Iris" - The Goo Goo Dolls
Grayson
Austin is louder than I remember.
Maybe it’s that everything seems loud. It isn’t just the city, although I can hear the traffic and the buzzing crowds from backstage. The venue team and the label reps are swarming us like they already own us. I keep having to remind myself that now they do.
Eric, Brandon, and Tony are all running on adrenaline, bouncing between press interviews and checking their instruments, soaking up the energy like it’s oxygen.
