“I know what you’re thinking.”
“You don’t.” I shake my head because my head and my heart are so confused, I don’t even know what I’m thinking.
“You’re disappointed that Justin left. But it’s my fault. He didn’t even know about the work thing. I came over to the restaurant. I was the one who told him about the crisis. He never would’ve known about it if it wasn’t for me.”
I turn to look at him. “Then why did you do it?”
“I don’t know. I wish that I hadn’t. If I could go back, I would let him figure it out when the night was over.”
“How did you find out?”
“Jordan told me.”
“I get it.” I turn my head to the window again. “You just wanted to help her.”
“No.” He taps his fingers on the steering wheel as if he’s frustrated. “Me coming here had nothing to do with Justin or Jordan. I think, deep down, I hoped I’d get to see you.”
I keep my eyes on the window, avoiding Caleb’s probing stare.Because if I look at him, I’ll end up asking why he didn’t want me and that’s the last thing I should be asking or wondering about. I’m with Justin. I did all of this so I could be with Justin. He’s the end game.
“I know you’re mad, but be mad at me. Don’t be mad at Justin.”
“I’m mad at the situation. You know, he didn’t have to go through the trouble of changing clothes and having you come out. He could’ve just told me. Told my family.” I finally look at him. “Like you did.”
“I told your family because I don’t want to pretend anymore.”
I smile, but it’s full of sadness. “I don’t either.”
thirty-six
CALEB
“Here we are.”I pull into Summer’s apartment complex.
“Thanks for the ride.” She immediately grabs the door handle like she’s going to jump ship while the car is still rolling to a stop.
I wish I could do something to help the situation. I hate seeing her like this.
“Hey, hey.” I touch her arm, causing her eyes to dart to my hand. “I’ll walk you to your door.”
“That’s okay. It’s not necessary.” She’s climbing out of the Bronco while I put it in park and turn off the ignition.
I catch up to her just before she reaches the stairwell. “Why are you in such a hurry? Do you really want to get away from me that bad?”
“No, I’m just tired of all of this.” She stops walking and faces me. Gentle snowflakes fall from the sky, looking more threatening when they drift into the light of the lamppost. “I just want it all to be easy.”
“What?”
“Love and relationships.”
“It’s not supposed to be easy.”
“It was easy for my sisters and for Vivian.”
“You’re on the outside looking in on their relationships. The grass is always greener on the other side.”
“Well, I want green grass.” She throws her arms out, dips her head back, and yells into the night sky and falling snow. “Why can’t falling in love be easy?”
I look at her with the moonlight on her face, puffs of cold air drifting away from her mouth each time she breathes, and I can’t help myself or stop myself.
