“And there’s no more firewood, so we’re going to get colder.”
“Unless we join forces and share a bed.”
“That’s right.”
I reach for my coat slung over the back of the chair in front of me. “And I could put my coat on so it wouldn’t even feel like we’re touching.”
“Yeah, we don’t even have to touch. Just radiate heat.”
“And then you wouldn’t have to go outside in the middle of the night in a blizzard to find firewood,” I say as I push my arms through my coat.
I don’t know why, but at this late hour, everything about this plan sounds completely logical and necessary.
“And maybe if I’m close by,” Caleb offers, “you won’t have any more bad dreams.”
“Let’s not talk about the dreams.” I shake my head.
“So, should I climb in your bunk with you? For the sake of heat?”
“Yes, for the sake of heat.”
I scoot over, pressing my back against the log wall. Caleb climbs under the covers. The bunk is only a twin, so even though we’re not trying to touch, we’re right next to each other. Two heads, one pillow, thighs brushing against each other. Feet fighting for space at the bottom of the mattress. But it’s fine. I’m in snow clothes. They’re basically like a winter chastity belt. I can’t feel anything in these things.
Except for maybe my pounding heart.
In the dim light of the embers, we stare at each other. And maybe eye contact is all it takes to feel Caleb’s presence.
“Are you comfortable?” I ask, like some sort of bed host.
“Yeah, are you?”
“I’m fine.” As fine as a girl can be who’s sharing a bed with a man who’s not her boyfriend—that sounded bad. Let me rephrase: as fine as a girl can be who’s sharing a bed for heat’s sake.We’ve got subzero temperatures out here.
“Are you warm?” he asks.
“Getting there. What about you?”
Caleb nods. “Getting there.”
“So I guess we go to sleep?”
“I guess so.”
Caleb smiles. “Sweet dreams, Summer.”
But what he doesn’t know is that I already had a sweet dream, and it was centered around him.
CALEB
* * *
Sunlight wakes me.
I lift my eyelids, still feeling a sleep haze, but everything awakens when I feel Summer curled up next to me. Curled up is the best way to describe her position. I’m on my back with my arm wrapped around her shoulder and body. Summer is on her side, curled like a ball into me. But the best part is her head on my chest.
I can’t see her face. She’s tucked under the blankets up to the crown of her head, probably to keep her nose and cheeks warm. But I can smell her hair and feel her body next to mine. I would’ve thought that holding her in my arms would ease the longing and the ache I feel for her but I can already tell it’s only going to make things worse. I’ve had a small taste of what it’s like to hold her, to wake up with her in my arms, and it’s not even a fraction of enough. I already crave more.
But like any good brother and good guy would do, I slide my arm out from under her and slowly inch my body away. I don’t want Summer to wake up embarrassed about cuddling into me or feel guilty about how we chose to keep warm last night. She doesn’t need that added stress in her life.
