I stand and put my boots on. After that, I boil some water over the propane stove so Summer can wake up to a hot cup of mint cocoa. We’ll have a quick breakfast. Then we’ll ski out of here to make it back in time for the festivities with her family later today.
Before I wake her with a steaming cup of hot chocolate in my hand, my eyes sweep over her one last time, remembering how she felt in my arms. I smile, grateful for the memory—just like the kiss I’m not supposed to remember either.
twenty-nine
SUMMER
Caleband I are going on hour twenty of hanging out. A person can do a lot of things in twenty hours. You can ski up and down a mountain, stay in a hut, and cuddle with your boyfriend’s twin brother—just to name a few. Technically, I don’t know for certain that Caleb and I cuddled. When I woke up, he was already awake, but there was this feeling inside my chest, this peacefulness that last night was the least lonely I’ve felt in my entire life, and something tells me it’s because Caleb slept beside me.
Then something tells me I should feel guilty for feeling so content.
But then again, maybe there’s nothing to feel guilty about.
I should just ask him.
I tap my fingers on the side of his Bronco as we make our way to Irvine Ranch to meet up with my family. “So what happened last night?”
Caleb eyes me. “What do you mean?”
“Or this morning. What happened between us?” I scratch the side of my ear. “You know, when you woke up?”
He smirks, and it’s one of those smirks that tells me he knows more than I do, and I hate that. “Does it really matter what happened between us?”
“Well, yes. I need to know if I did something that I need to tell Justin about. Like if I cuddled with you.”
“Were you trying to stay warm?”
“Yes.”
“Then I think whatever happened was innocent enough. Especially since you said yesterday that you aren’t attracted to me.”
“Right. I’m not.” I never thought I would talk to a man about whether or not I’m attracted to him, but here we are again, having this same conversation, which is unfortunate since I’m lying.
“So, then, we’re good.” He shrugs. “You don’t need to worry.”
“Great.” I smile in a way that can only be construed as overdone. “I’m glad we cleared that up. I won’t mention it to Justin. It was just two outdoor adventurers trying to stay warm.”
“Now we’re outdoor adventurers? I thought we werepals.”
“Both.” I lift my chin, glancing out my side of the car. “We can be both.”
Just as long as that’s all we are. Maybe it was the mint hot chocolate or the freezing temperature last night, but the lines between what Caleb and I are, and can be, blurred for a little bit. But we’re back on track. Caleb is here on behalf of Justin.
“You’re going to love our Irvine Ranch Christmas experience today.” I change the subject—part of getting us back on track. “The whole town comes to sit on Santa’s lap and enjoy sleigh rides. It’s really magical. My family goes every year because Bob Irvine is—”
“Your dad’s best friend.” Caleb smiles at me. “I know. It’s one of the Stanworth family’s claims to fame.”
“Not the only one,” I mutter under my breath.
Caleb pulls the car into the marked parking lot covered in snow. I glance at the clock. We’re a little early. The whole event doesn’t start for twenty minutes, but I see my family up ahead by the picnic tables.
I flip the passenger sun visor down and look in the tiny mirror. “Ugh! I look like I just slept in a hut and skied down the mountain. Oh, wait. I did do that.” I wipe the mascara stains away from the bottoms of my eyes.
“I think you look beautiful.”
I slowly turn my head. Caleb’s staring at me, radiating genuineness from his eyes, reminding me of the only other time he told me I was beautiful. It was right after we met, when he had altitude sickness. At the time, I dismissed his comment and chalked it up to him being so out of it that he was talking nonsense. But with the way he’s staring at me across the car, I believe he meant it then as much as he means it now.
“Thank you.” My words come out as a whisper as I drop my eyes.
