Her back is ramrod straight, and while I want to push her on it, something tells me I won’t be getting the answers I seek. While it might not make sense, I do think she cares for Raelyn and if she could offer help, she would.
“Raelyn has forgotten me every single time I have met her,” I say. “We met as children a few times, and when I saw her againat sixteen, she didn’t remember me . . . and the same again at her first season’s ball.”
I catch a glimpse of sadness mixed with anger and perhaps a hint of fear on Sera’s face. “I’m sorry, Your Highness.”
“Please send word to Lord Astoria,” I tell her. “I need to meet with him.”
Sera nods and starts to leave before she pauses at the door and turns back. “Your Highness?”
“Yes?”
“Be gentle with her . . . She’s quite lost right now.”
My heart softens, and I give her a reassuring nod. “Of course. I’m so glad she has you looking out for her.”
I catch myself in a yawn and realize I’ve barely slept in days. My worry for Raelyn has made it impossible, on top of the latest raid. I’m running ragged. I peek into my room, and Raelyn is tossing about in bed, her hair sticking to her face while whimpers come out of her.
Rushing to her side, I debate if I should wake her. Helplessness creeps in once more. What can I do?
Before I can second-guess myself, I slide into bed and pull her into my arms. Her body goes still, and her heart rate slows. Perhaps, if only in sleep, she will allow me to be her comfort. I sigh a breath of relief and loosen my hold until a soft whimper from her lips has me instantly holding her close again.
The need to be near her, to comfort her, is strong, and I only wish I could do more. I just hope she won’t be angry if she awakens with me here, but I’ve been apart from her for far too long, and that has only made me realize all the more how much I need her . . . how much I want her. She might have forgotten everything, but I haven’t. What started as childhood infatuation has grown into something deeper, more lasting, despite all the times I thought to fight it. She’s not only beautiful on theoutside, but also has strength of character, kindness, and wit that continue to make me fall for her more.
Gods willing, I can get her to trust me again when she’s awake. Once more, I want to kick myself for allowing her out of my sight last week . . . We were so close to opening up to each other fully for the first time. After Raelyn left the garden, Father made it clear in no uncertain terms that he expected an heir from us as quickly as possible, but now, my wife can’t even remember we’re married.
Something stirs near me,and I blink. I’m met with the startling green-and-gold of my wife’s eyes.
“Good morning,” I whisper, hoping she’s not going to be angry.
“What are you doing here?” she whispers back.
I can’t help but smirk. “This is my bed, is it not?”
Her face flushes the brightest shade of red, and she stutters, “Umm . . . yes, I suppose it is . . . I just wasn’t expecting you to . . .”
I’m suddenly aware of how entangled we are; one of her smooth legs is fitted comfortably between mine, and a delicate hand rests on my chest. I clear my throat and try to scoot back a little before she discovers just how attracted to her I am.
With my movement, she pushes away from me, as if she too just realized how close we were.
“I’m sorry, Rae. It sounded like you were having a nightmare when I came to check on you last night. My presence seemed to soothe you, so I stayed . . .”
Her brow furrows, and the twitch of her lip betrays the smile she’s holding back. “That was very kind of you, Your Highness.”
“Please don’t call me that.” I clench my fist at my side to avoid touching her. I so badly want to touch her. “It’s Kian . . .”
“Sorry, Kian. I just?—”
“It’s okay. I wish I could help you remember.”
She sucks in a breath, her eyes widening as she gestures between us. “Were we . . . uh . . .” She flushes and tries to start over. “Sera said our marriage was quite sudden, but, um . . .”
Should I put her out of her misery or let her continue to fish for answers?I clear my throat.Do I tell her we kissed right before this all happened? Do I tell her how much I desire her?Fighting against all my instincts, I say, “We were still getting to know one another.”
Her brow furrows even deeper, if possible. “But Sera said we were madly in love.”
I blow out a breath and chuckle. “That’s what we told my father, and by extension, the rest of court. We decided to marry out of convenience for both of us. My father demanded I marry by the end of the season, and I was trying to help you get away from your stepmother.”
“Oh,” she says, then gestures between us again. “So we never?”
