“You scared the shit out of me,” he says, his arms shuddering around me.
Taking in my surroundings, I realize we are on the soft rug in front of the fireplace and Kian is cradling me in his lap.
“I . . . I remember,” I whisper. “I remember everything. The fountain, dancing with you and the fireflies . . .everything.”
Kian stills. “Everything?”
“Yes, Ki.”
He swallows, and tears glisten in his eyes. “Catching me in your father’s study? Our bonding?”
I nod, a smile splitting my face as my own eyes well up. “Everything.”
He squeezes his eyes shut, taking a deep breath before looking back at me, tears spilling over. “That’s amazing, Rae.” He smoothes a tendril of my hair back, his touch light, almost reverent. “Better than I could have ever hoped for.”
I smile up at him. He looks different somehow . . . Perhaps it’s the knowing . . . remembering the small moments we shared, the ones that were stolen from me.
“Why were you screaming?” He frowns, looking almost frightened to ask.
I shudder. “My last memory wasn’t exactly a pleasant one . . . Dylan?—”
Kian’s gaze turns ruthless, and his body tenses. “I will see him hanged for this after I beat the ever-loving shit out of him again.”
“Kian, I’m okay,” I try to reassure him, reaching up and turning his face back to mine. “Stay with me. Vengeance later.”
He shudders, the tension melting out of him as he rests his head atop mine. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, but that scream . . .”
“It’s okay . . . I’m okay. He barely touched me.”
“Doesn’t mean I won’t remove his hands from his body.”
I shake my head. “I’m here, Kian. I’m safe.”
He takes a deep breath and finally relaxes just a little more before pulling back to look at me.
“Why did you go with him?” he asks. “That’s the part I don’t understand.”
The hurt in his eyes takes me back to that moment, and as much as I’d rather forget it, I realize keeping it inside will only harm us . . . if there’s actually any chance at there being anusmoving forward.
“When your father showed up in the garden . . . the way you reacted to him scared me. I started to worry that perhaps our kiss had been purely for show because you knew he was coming.”
Something fractures in Kian’s gaze, and I rein in the rest of my words.
“Rae . . . it breaks my heart that my actions would have ever caused you to feel that way. I am so sorry I wasn’t clear about my feelings for you. None of that was for show, I promise you.”
A weight falls off my chest, and I breathe deeply. “I’m so sorry I didn’t wait for you. I shouldn’t have run off the way I did.”
“Love, please promise me that you won’t blame yourself for Dylan’s and your stepmother’s actions, okay?” Kian brushes another stray hair behind my ear. “And promise me you’ll talk to me if you’re ever unsure about something?”
“Okay,” I agree. “Only if you do the same. No more secrets.”
“No more secrets,” he promises.
I look up at the ceiling when a realization hits me. “This whole time . . . you knew . . . You remembered it all, our history. Why didn’t you say something?”
He averts his eyes, staring at what must be a very important speck of dust on the floor. “I don’t know . . . I guess I just thought I was extremely forgettable.”
I scoff. “Surely you don’t mean that.”
