He shrugs, meeting my gaze again. “I tried once to bring it up, but you looked painfully confused, and I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t understand why.”
“And you somehow thought it was a brilliant idea to marry me and live as, what? Friends? Acquaintances?” My brow furrows in confusion. “Why would you do that?”
“I tried to convince myself that it would be enough . . . just having you around. And maybe, if the gods were feeling generous, you wouldn’t forget me. Maybe, if I were lucky enough, over time, I could win your heart.”
My heart breaks at the words . . . but there’s a glimmer of amusement too. “You thought that if I saw you every day, I couldn’t possibly forget you again?”
He cracks a smile. “Well, it seemed to be working.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Can you blame me? I couldn’t let you go. Every time I met you again, I fell a little harder.”
My entire body heats under the intensity of his gaze. Memories of moments spent with him flicker in and out of my mind. I think I could easily love this man.
Kian helps me stand, and I lean into him; my legs are wobbly after the maelstrom of memories.
“I’m afraid I need to leave, Rae,” Kian says, his hand cupping my cheek. “I’ve got vigilante shit to do.”
I can’t deny the disappointment, especially when I remember what we did on the setteebeforethe memories came back.
Kian’s eyes darken, like he’s somehow reading my mind. “Oh, love, if you look at me like that, I don’t know if I’ll be able to go.”
My cheeks heat, but I wrap my arms around him and squeeze. “Be safe,” I whisper. “Come back to me.”
“Always.”
Chapter Forty-Six
RAELYN
“What do you want to do about Dylan?” Kian asks me as we head to the library. “With your memory back, we can tell your side of the story.”
I grimace. “As much as I wouldn’t mind seeing him punished . . . I also don’t want to be dragged through a trial.”
Kian’s jaw clenches, and I reach for his hand, noting fresh bruises. Perhaps the vigilante has already meted out justice of his own.
“I hope that’s not disappointing to you. But we should keep an eye on him, and if he tries to hurt anyone else, all bets are off,” I say.
“Fine,” Kian says, blowing out a breath. “I just promised you he’d pay, and I don’t think he’s suffered enough.”
“Mm-hmm,” I reply, glancing back at his bruised hand.
I drag him through the library until we reach the section I’m looking for. Maps of all shapes and sizes line the shelves.
“You don’t think this is a wild goose chase?” Kian says, scratching the back of his head. “You really think you would recognize something from one of these?” He gestures at the endless books and scrolls full of maps.
“I have this feeling,” I admit. I’ve had more dreams of the island, and I just know in my soul I’d recognize it if I saw it.
Kian sighs. “Well, considering that all my other leads have completely run dry, I guess this is the best chance at finding the lost god . . . finding your father.”
I crinkle my nose. “It’s still weird thinking of him that way.”
“I can’t even imagine,” Kian says as he rummages through the maps. “What am I looking for exactly?”
“Maps of the southern isles,” I say as I pour through another stack. “The types of trees and the constellations that were visible narrowed it down that much at least.”
“I’m still not sure how you expect us to find one island out of the many,” Kian grumbles.
