I wasn’t sure how it all started but it shocked me the first time he called me a name.
I had been Catherine Howard.
And he had been Thomas Culpeper.
I didn’t realize until later the deeper meaning behind it all. I was always the queen and he was always someone that had been an affair. Never the king. It drove me crazy trying to figure out what it all meant. Was he referring to how this whole thing started? I saw it that way. Though it hadn’t been a full-blown affair, it had started with a kiss while I was engaged to another man.
If I wanted to look deeper, and sometimes I did, I could have said that maybe he saw me as a higher level than him. But I didn’t think that was it. Or that he might never be enough for me. Or, and this was the one that got me every time, that he never saw us as being a real thing. Something that we could take into the light one day. That this was all supposed to be kept a dirty, dark secret.
I was always his queen.
And he treated me so.
Even if I always saw him as the stronger one out of the two of us. More commanding. His head was definitely strong enough to hold the crown.
“I need you,” I found myself whining out as he worked his tongue around my swollen clit.
I don’t know why he loved to go down on me, but he did. And I would have said that maybe he was a decent enough man to understand that you had to give in order to receive, but that wasn’t it because he hardly ever asked asked me to.
That wasn’t to say that I was selfish. I mean, I liked going down on him too. To see how much it turned him on. Knowing that I was the one he was watching. Seeing how hot it made him. The way his eyes wouldn’t leave mine the entire time.
There were many things that I did with Bryan that I never thought I would ever do. Things I never thought I could be comfortable with. I wasn’t talking about weird or kinky. Just the normal things. But sex had never been sexy before. I had never felt sexy before. It was like he came into my life and all my apprehensions and inhibitions fell away. I wasn’t shy or embarrassed around him. I had no need to be. And though he wasn’t one to really use his words to tell me, his eyes and his body always did. It screamed at me with desire and need and lust. Which, in a way, was better because it wasn’t just meaningless words and empty praises. It was real and true and something he couldn’t hide.
“You’ve got me, baby,” he said as he settled himself between my legs. “I’m all yours.”
And I felt like he was.
At least right now.
I didn’t want to think about what later would bring. All the things that would come with the rising sun. I never did. Some would have said it was unhealthy and I supposed it was. I just focused on what worked. This was it. This was us. Two souls coming together where no one else could see. When no one else was around.
He slid into me slowly, seeming to understand what I needed tonight. He always did. I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t want to hate him right now. I wanted his soft touch. I wanted to get as close to love as I could with him.
When our bodies were so worn out and drained that we possibly couldn’t come again, we passed out clinging to each other.
