Mandy laughs. "I don't know. I just tried to give them everything I always wanted as a kid. Stability. Love. Acceptance. Those aren't hard things for me to provide."
After we disconnect, Mandy's words echo in my head. She's still giving up things for her kids. She and Ben are meant to be together. Not just as a singer-songwriter-composer team, but liketogethertogether. Myles is still standing in the way of that. She still doesn't get to have what she wants, all because of her kids. I mean, it's because of her douchewaffle ex, but if she didn't have the kids, she'd be free to be with Ben.
"Mommy, can I have some more dragon fruit chips?" Paisley holds out her empty bowl.
"I guess, but make sure to say 'please.' No one likes a diva." I refill her bowl and hand it back to her. I will not have her acting like a spoiled brat just because I used to be someone famous. I slide onto the chair next to Paisley, gingerly pulling her onto my lap. Instinctively, she snuggles in. I want for her all the things Mandy wants for her kids. But I want to be happy too.
I'm not sure there's a way for me to have both.
Chapter 22: Henderson
Call her.
I look away, as if the voice on the other end of the phone can see my disinterest.
"H, man, you have to call her. You have to ask."
I still don't respond. I'm not having this conversation with Grayson. Again.
"She might say yes."
"She won't say yes, mate." I don't want her to say yes. I mean, I need her to. The Edison needs her to. Ever since Carson Reuben's damn article two weeks ago, we've been inundated with calls and emails, wanting to know when Tabby Cat would be appearing at The Edison, and can we please buy tickets. If the story wasn't totally false, Gray and I'd be jumping up and down with delight. It would mean we wouldn't have to be counting each seat sale, wondering if we were going to cover our costs for another season.
But if Tabitha came to The Edison, it'd be over between us. There's no way I could … nope. Just no. It's a hard no.
"You don't know that she won't say yes. It's not like you even know her that well."
"I know her." I don't know her at all.
"Did you think she'd show up at auditions? I saw your face. You were stunned."
Gobsmacked was more like it.
"Okay, fine. If you're not going to call her, then I will."
I sit back and fold my hands across my chest, even though Grayson can't see my smug posture. "You can't. You don't have her number, and I'm not going to call her."
Grayson groans. "Arrgh. Why are you being so disagreeable?"
"I'm not being disagreeable, mate. It's …" I'm being disagreeable. "I slept with her."
There's silence on the line. "Yeah, and?" Grayson says slowly. We came so close to losing The Edison last year. Grayson did everything he possibly could to save his family's theatre. This could be a huge boost.
But still, I can't get on board. "I don't do that. You know me. I'm not gonna be involved with anyone I work with. So I'm not calling her." As I say it, I know I sound like the world's biggest wanker. I probably am.
"Henderson, you know I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important. Think about Gloria and what she did last year. How far that pushed her, just to keep The Edison going. This is small potatoes compared to that. You don't want to sleep with her, then don't. If you do, you do. That's not what it's about. It's about The Edison."
Gah. Gray's my best mate, and I'd do anything for him. I want to be that bloke who sticks by and digs deep, no matter what. You know, the bloke I never had in my life. I feel myself relenting. "I'll think about it."
We disconnect and nothing about this situation feels good. We're not even working together and being involved with Tabitha has already created more headaches than I want to deal with. I don't have time for this today. I've got to get to the studio for specialty dance auditions.
As I'm jostled onto the 7 train to Midtown, I curse Grayson. Curse him for deciding wehadto doAn American in Paris. That means it's not enough to have a lead who can dance, but she's got to be an actual ballerina. For this role, we're auditioning dancers first and then will have them sing. It's backward from our normal process, but because the dance is so integral to the role, we have to go this way.
This is in addition to the grueling two days of company auditions, plus another one of general dance. Too bad The Edison doesn't pay by the hour.
"Who's next?" I ask Morgan. I glance over to see her frowning at the paper.
"Weird. There's no name."
