"Well, after years of training with the Five Boroughs Ballet Company, I was finally promoted to the corps de ballet last season when a freak accident sidelined several dancers."
I wince at her words. I understand how freak accidents can change a person's life.
"At the end of the season, as everyone was recovering, they released me from my contract. I'm no longer a member of FBBC. I'm officially an unemployed, has-been ballerina. I'm too old to audition anywhere else. Definitely not a professional. Definitely not the best."
"That sounds crushing." I can't imagine what it's like to be so close to your dream only to have it ripped away. Maybe someday I'll know, but I'm only starting out on that journey right now. I glance over at my notebook. Perhaps I could use a little of Leslie's focus and drive to get this finished so I can start pitching it for real.
"Yeah, and then the only thing worse than getting fired was having my parents find out. They, like, actually came to New York to fetch me to bring me back home. The call from Henderson is the only thing that prevented me from having to return to Ohio in shame."
That's not the worst thing that can happen. The worst thing is a drunk driver, so inebriated on a Sunday morning that a sixteen-year-old becomes an orphan.
I almost want to tell her this, but her pain is as real as mine is. "Is that the only reason you took the part? Because it was this or go back home?"
She nods.
I try to pull my focus back to Leslie and where she was.Is. "And let me guess, like all those years ago at STP, you still don't really care about being an actress."
She shakes her head slightly.
"And now?"
Abruptly, she sits up and before I know it, she's across the room at my door.
"What?" I ask.
"You don't want me to say it."
"I do. I want to hear what you're thinking." It's true. I have no idea how her mind works. Obviously.
"Josh …" she pleads.
"Jesus, Leslie, just say it. What are you doing here?"
She takes a deep breath in as if she's about to jump off a cliff. "I'm selling out and selling myself short. I'm settling."
Her words, referring to the thing I love the most, land like a blow to the gut. She might as well be saying that anyone who ends up with me is settling.
Perhaps Mei felt the same way about me.
Leslie turns and walks out, leaving another wake of destruction in her path. If The Edison had any other options besides her, I would certainly be pounding on Grayson's door, pleading my case right now.
I only know one thing—I cannot be around her. She represents too much hurt for me, pulling me back to the worst time in my life. She's going to have to find someone else to work on music with her.
If I never see Leslie Ann Moose again, it will be too soon.
Chapter 11: Leslie
Ithought talking to Josh would make me feel better. We were such fast friends at camp that I figured that bond would still be there, no matter what.
I was wrong.
I find this out as I show up for my music rehearsal on Tuesday morning. Between dance rehearsals, aerial rehearsals, and group number rehearsals, I haven't been able to focus on my song the way I should have. The way I need to. Henderson blocked me out for a good hour with Josh to hammer this out.
I soundedbadyesterday. Like people were actually wincing. I know I was awful.
I'm nervous about being alone with him again. I haven't spent any time with him since last Saturday when I left his room. Three days doesn't seem like a lot, but the environment here at The Edison is much like it was at camp. Josh was right—it's a bubble, which makes everything seem so much more intense.
Like I need more intense.
