Like between us.
"That's why it's called acting."Duh."I'm going to get this. I swear."
"I know you will."
I think about that. If Josh has faith in me, then it'll be okay, right? "Do you think everyone else feels the same way?"
"Here's how it goes, every show. Someone has a bad rehearsal. Then the next day, someone else botches their stuff. People forget lines. They miss marks. Sometimes, that even happens during shows. Did you know that duringWicked, there are all these safety precautions that have to be in place for Elphaba to fly during 'Defying Gravity?' For some reason or another, it's not that uncommon for one of the things not to go right. They call those the no-fly shows. And that's Broadway. It happens."
"So basically, the moral of this pep talk is shit happens?"
Another meme for my Cricut.
Josh grins. "Pretty much. And today, you were in the shitter. I'm sure tomorrow will be better."
"I think it's already tomorrow, and I don't feel any better."
Josh stands up and reaches down to me. I take his hand, letting him pull me to my feet. My appendages feel like Jell-O. "Go up to your room, drink plenty of water, meditate, and go to sleep. You need to relax and not think about any of this. Morning will be here before you know it."
We head for the door, Josh turning the lights off behind us. The building is dark. I grab onto Josh's arm, if only not to trip over anything. We finally get to the exterior door, stepping out into the velvety black of the night.
"Sixty-seven hours?"
Josh turns to face me, our bodies close enough that I can feel the heat between us. Without thinking, I lean into him, wrapping my arms around his body. I rest my cheek on his collarbone, sighing deeply. His arms encircle me, holding onto me as I'm holding onto him.
This feels right. It feels good. It—
Abruptly, Josh pushes me back. "I think you're all right from here. See you in the morning."
And with that, he walks away as I stand there, watching him go.
I thought for a moment he had forgiven me. That he understood why I did what I did. That maybe, we could try again.
Standing in the dark, all by myself, I know I was wrong.
Chapter 16: Josh
Last night was close. So close. Too close.
I cannot let that happen again.
I meant well. I really did. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and Leslie Ann Moose is my own personal hell.
Still, I feel bad that I left her standing like that all alone. You know, how she left me. I didn't do it in an eye-for-an-eye way or anything. It was more because if I stood there holding her for one second longer, I was going to do something supremely stupid.
Like kiss her.
I mean, how we started was somewhat stupid to begin with.
"What are we doing tonight?" Leslie was stretched out on the bed in my dorm room, as she was any time she wasn't in rehearsal. Chrissy hadn't gotten any friendlier in the four weeks since camp had started, so Leslie had practically moved in with me. My roommate, George, was not amused.
"I think there's another bonfire. S'mores and the works."
Leslie sighed. "Are you serious? For real?"
"What else are we supposed to do? It is a camp, you know. We're lucky they're not making us climb things and whittle wood during the day." I went to Boy Scout camp once when I was nine. It was traumatic.
"But we bonfire like every other night. And then there are the sing-alongs, and you know that's not my thing. What do the other musicians do when all the actors are showing each other up with their vocals?"
