That was easy. "Mostly sneak off into the woods and hook up. You've seenAmerican Pie, right? This is basically band camp."
"Really?" That got her attention. Leslie sat straight up, clutching my pillow. "All the band members are getting freaky with each other? What about you? Who are you getting it on with?" She threw my pillow at me. Lucky for me she had a terrible arm and I caught the pillow.
"Um, no one. I befriended you, so I'm spending all my time with you. Duh." I lobbed the pillow back to her. "What are the thespians doing? Who's hooking up with who ... because you know it's happening."
She shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I know people are, but I'm not really in with them. You know, I'm over here, sleeping with the enemy." She hurled the pillow again. This time, I barely caught it before it beaned me in the head.
"Except you're not. We're just friends. Right?" This conversation was starting to take a turn, but I had no idea where it was going to go. I mean, you'd have to be dead not to find Leslie hot and sexy. But I was her only friend here at STP. As much of a stupid and horny teen as I was, even I recognized that you don't mess with a friendship like that. I threw the pillow back to her.
"Maybe we should hook up or fool around or whatever." Her words stunned me so much that I sat there as the pillow nailed me right in the head.
"Say what now?" I finally squeaked out.
"Well, like, all I do back home is ballet. I don't have time to date or anything. And let's face it, most of the boys that I do know from class have no interest in me. And the ones who might have been around the block so many times it's gross."
"Okay, but what does that have to do with me?" I'm confused. Leslie had firmly friend-zoned me on day one. Day two actually, probably in response to the friend zone I put her in on day one.
"Why don't we mess around? You know, just for fun. Frankly, I've never really done anything, and I'm afraid with my life the way it is, I'll never get the chance before I'm old."
Even at sixteen, I realized that people found me attractive. I'd been hit on before. This was, without a doubt, the worst I'd ever heard. "So you're saying that I'm your only chance to not die a virgin? And not because you're attracted to me, but because I have the right parts and you don't want to go to the bonfire?"
She blushed deeply, her bronze skin taking on a ruddy tone. "What I meant was—shit—you're not bad to look at and we're already friends so why not?"
I stood up and walked over to her. I grabbed her hands and pulled her up to a standing position. "What happens tomorrow?"
"We go back to being friends."
As I looked into her brown eyes, I knew that would be impossible. I knew we were crossing a line that we'd never be able to uncross. That bell would be rung forever. A small voice way down in the recesses of my brain asked if I should say no. I ignored that voice.
And then I kissed her.
We never did go back to being friends. She became my everything until the moment I became her nothing.
The memories assault me, even though I'm trying not to let them in. I realize it seems foolish to still be thinking about a teen love affair all these years later. If things had ended any other way, I might be able to move on. To laugh it off even.
But I can't because of my parents. There's no way for me to separate my emotions of the two events from each other. They're one big mess of suck in my brain.
And I don't have the time for this right now. We've got about sixty hours until we open, and there's not a moment to waste. Run-through number one is rough. Number two shows some improvement. Number three has Henderson screaming and losing his shit.
It's par for the course.
I've never been in a show that didn't follow this pattern. Leslie's doing better, but she's not quite there yet. Henderson doesn't yell at her—thank God. Anyone with eyes can see how hard she's working. Her confidence on the silks and lyra is growing, especially now that she's no longer using a mat.
It is stunning to watch her dance, whether it's on land or as she's soaring through the air. I don't know who the yahoos in charge of her ballet company were, but they were foolish to let her go.
Her harmonies still need some work though.
Damn.
I have to pull her aside and help her with them. I would for anyone else. I can't let my job integrity suffer because I don't want to be alone with her.
"Les, let's go over the harmonies and your belts." I pick up my music book and head toward the rehearsal room.
"That bad?" she asks.
"Not bad, just not there yet."
"This show is like one big massive f-u to my ego, you know? I had to get over the fact that being here isn't settling in the first place. Now, I'm the worst one here."
