Immediately, a mental image of Rachel lying naked underneath me, spread across my bed, in the throes of pleasure, emerges.It’s a powerful enough suggestion that it’s having a real-life effect on me.
Great.
"I’m not there yet.I’m not sure I’ll ever be."Rachel laughs nervously."But enough about me.What’s up with you?"
Why’d she have to phrase it like that?If I’d been taking a sip of my coffee, no doubt, I’d have spit it across my living room."Um, nothing.Just normal game-day prep.Light workout.Pregame fuel."
"Are all the games as exciting as the last one?"
I stand up and start pacing.As soon as I get off the phone, I’m going to take a long, cold shower, but she doesn’t need to know that."I thought you read a book during that game."
"I did, but there was a big fight and two people got thrown out.Does that normally happen?"
I explain to her what happened and why and how, no, that doesn’t normally happen.
"So, will you be offended if I bring a book again?"
It takes me a minute to understand what she’s saying."Are you coming to the game tonight?I thought you were making plans?"
"Yeah, I was.With your mom.Apparently your brothers can’t make it, so she offered me the ticket.So, like I said, will you be offended if I have an emergency book with me?"
"What’s the emergency?"
Rachel giggles again."Um, is it offensive to say boredom?"
It’s my turn to laugh."Yes, but it’s probably because you don’t understand the game.I’ll explain it all to you, and then you’ll find it interesting."
"I don’t know about that, but you can try.I need to go back to sleep for a while.See you after the game?"
"See you after the game," I say as we disconnect.
She’s coming to the game.That knowledge makes me happier than it should.I barely know this girl.
Yet it still makes me happy.
Now, about that shower.
Chapter 21: Rachel
"I have no idea what I’m doing!"I yell at the ceiling."I don’t even like soccer!"
That’s true.But I do like spending time with TJ.And, for some reason that I cannot quite comprehend, he seems to like spending time with me.
So when his mother texted practically at dawn today and asked me to attend the game with them, I leapt at the opportunity.This is so unlike me, I must still be drunk.
Speaking of which, what was that?I can count on one hand the number of times in my life I’ve been that drunk.And I went over to his place.
If my head weren’t already killing me, I’d slam it into the wall a few times to try to knock some sense into myself.My entire life is spiraling into some kind of chaos that I don’t even recognize.
So why not go to another sporting event with thousands of people?
Then I remember why when I’m walking into the stadium.I don’t do well in crowds.Everything feels like it’s closing in on me, and it’s hard to breathe.I try to tap into my five senses to ground me to prevent the panic from growing when I remember the ride up to the Doyles’ house.In my head, I start mentally playing "I Gotta Feeling," and by the time I find Maureen and Tom at Will Call, my heart rate is almost a normal level.Almost.
I wish I could say that, because of my budding friendship with TJ, I enjoyed this game so much more than the first.I wish I could say that, but I don’t make a habit of being a liar.It’s still a sport that I don’t understand, don’t follow, and don’t care to.I mean, of course I want TJ and his team to do well.To get more points or goals or whatever.
I really should learn about soccer so I can have a conversation with him about it.
"I can’t believe I willingly went to a sporting event.Again!"I say through gritted teeth as I look up at the night sky.
