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Dillon had balls of steel to walk up to her as if nothing had happened, wearing a grin fit to bamboozle even the most stoic of women as if she’d just fall into his arms because he deigned to talk to her.
Screw that.
She was tired of the men in her life treating her as if she were too stupid to think for herself or assuming she didn’t have an opinion about what was going on.
She had plenty of opinions about the situation and right about now, she was ready to share them with the first unlucky fool to cross her path.
Maybe it was all those years of squelching her feelings, hopes or dreams that it’d somehow become normal to simply nod like a bleating sheep and follow wherever she was led but those times were over. Penny didn’t know if the change was attributed to the fact that her heart had been stomped into a million pieces along with her dignity or she was simply fed up with everything going wrong in her life but she wasn’t going to sit back and swallow her feelings any longer.
She wanted answers, damn it.
Everything spiraled back to Isabel and so far, Dillon had only shared half the story. What the hell had happened in the Buchanan family to create such a psychic fracture? She knew the barest of details: Isabel had killed herself by doing a swan dive from the twins’ penthouse and she’d been pregnant when she died. But she didn’t know what the twins’ involvement was or why Dillon hadn’t simply apologized for being an ass and repaired his relationship with his father. How had one incident torn apart the lives of so many people?
It was plain to her that each of the Buchanans were suffering from an overabundance of pride, which had festered into ugly wounds in different ways.
Was it her problem that the Buchanans had never learned how to have a simple conversation? Communication, people. Try it sometime. Emboldened by her fresh infusion of courage and chutzpah, Penny felt more in control of her life than she had in years.
For so long she’d sat behind a desk, hoping and wishing someone would notice her — but not just anyone — someone dashing, handsome and just a bit wicked. Her Papa had always warned her to be careful what she wished for because God had a funny sense of humor. She’d been star-struck by the twins but Dillon had knocked her sidewise. She’d not only been noticed by one man with all those qualities, but three! Talk about overkill. And her life had changed in an instant. From the clothes she wore to the way she wore her hair, nothing seemed remotely recognizable from the outside; however, Dillon had seen that she was more than a doll to dress up and play with from time to time and that was something the twins had failed to recognize.
But there was one thing all three Buchanans shared in common and it was something that likely, neither realized or would admit: deep down, they were all good men. If there was a kernel of goodness inside them, with the right encouragement, it could bloom and grow. But how was she supposed to make that happen? And even if she could, should she? Maybe she ought to cut ties completely. She could give back the money and break the contract. Penny stilled. Was she ready to make that bold of a statement? Was she ready to completely walk away from everything associated with the Buchanans? A part of her offered a weary yes but the other part said no. At the moment she didn’t know which part was stronger or why. All she was certain of was that she needed more answers before she made her decision and if no one seemed eager to share details, she’d just have to find them on her own.
Dillon was in the worst mood of his life.
It’d been a mistake to see Penny again — what had he been thinking? — and now she was in his head. Everywhere he turned, his brain played tricks on him. First, he thought he caught a whiff of her perfume, then he thought he saw her walking by but each time strangers stared back at him. He was losing his mind.
He shouldn’t have said the things he had to Penny when he saw her at the park. If it were safe to say she coaxed the best out of him, it was certainly fair to say she had the equal and opposite effect on him as well. She’d floated into his life unexpectedly, a ripe vision in a blue designer dress, and she’d put her stamp on everything he’d touched since. He couldn’t blame his brothers for wanting her —hell, he’d taken one look and knew in that instant that he would have to have her — but he chafed at the realization that Penny had stayed with the twins even after everything had gone down in the Hamptons. He knew she was conflicted by her arrangement so why did she choose to stay? The right thing to do would’ve been to simply ask her point blank but his mind had turned to mush and a jealous rage had taken over making it impossible to think straight much less put together a persuasive argument.
And frankly, what the hell did he care that she was still shagging his brothers? It was her business, not his.
Because it did. Holy hell, it bothered him more than a little. The knowledge made him want to beat someone to a bloody pulp — mainly his brothers.
The last time he’d felt such passion for another human being, that person had ended up taking her own life, which wasn’t really a ringing endorsement for allowing it to happen again. But how was he supposed to walk away when there was something tugging at his chest, pulling him straight toward Penny?
Penny walked into the library of the twins’ palatial mansion and for the first time ever, didn’t suffer from a serious case of awestruck-itis. She clutched a manila envelope to her chest of research she’d spent the afternoon uncovering through no small amount of effort as she’d combed through newspaper archives and paid a small sum of money for the police report, with a newfound resolve. After finding the newspaper clipping of Isabel’s swan dive, Penny knew she couldn’t stop there. She needed to know more about Isabel as the person and began to dig even deeper. She managed to find Isabel’s high school transcripts and even though she didn’t know what use it could be to her to know that Isabel had tanked economics her senior year, Penny felt almost sleuthlike as she strode through the halls. Perhaps she was riding on the adrenalin or maybe she was just too frazzled to care about the consequences but she finally felt on top of her game for the first time since…well, forever.
She didn’t know if the change was temporary or permanent but she liked the way she felt after spending an afternoon chasing after the ghost of a woman she’d never known. Somehow, it felt as if the answers she sought were necessary to start the healing for everyone involved. Maybe she was being a silly twit for even hoping such a thing was possible but she wasn’t going to stop now. Come hell or high water, she was going to end this journey without questions poking at her brain.
Nolan startled when she walked in and Vince, engrossed in something on his tablet, didn’t realize anyone else was in the room with them until Nolan cleared his throat meaningfully. “Darling, this is a surprise,” Nolan said, moving forward as if to embrace her but Penny put her hand up, stopping him. He frowned. “What’s wrong, pet?”
Vince looked up and mirrored his brother’s expression. “What’s going on?”
“I need answers and since everyone in this family seems reluctant to share, I’m here to get what I need straight from the source. No more dancing around the past, no more patting me on the head as if I’m some ninny without two tufts of straw in my head. I deserve to know what the hell happened to the woman before me.” At that, Penny tossed the manila envelope so that it landed on the coffee table. “In that envelope is all the information I managed to find on Isabel Walker.”
Nolan and Vince stared at her as if she’d just thrown down a bloody head. “What are you doing?” Vince said, standing to grab the envelope, his movement sharp and agitated. “Why can’t you just leave it alone? She’s dead. End of story.”
“No, it’s not end of story for me. I need you to resolve this issue or else we’re through,” Penny said, holding her ground even though her insides had begun to tremble. “Don’t you see how her death has affected you all? I’ve only known you for a relatively short time but in that time I’ve come to see a few things that maybe you can’t because you’re too close to the situation.”
“Penny,” Nolan began, trying for patience but he was just as uneasy about the prospect of talking about the past as his twin. “I can appreciate your curiosity—“
“Whatever happened to Isabel is the reason Dillon wants to destroy you — the reason he used me to get to you so don’t you dare try to tell me that it’s none of my business or else I’ll scream like a Victorian with a gent’s hand on her ankle.” The twins stared in consternation and she muttered a quick, “You know, because the Victorians were so prim and proper — never mind — the point is, I need answers and you’re going to give them to me.”
“And why would we do that?” Vince said with quiet calm that she didn’t trust one second and probably meant he was mad enough to choke a nun but she was running on pure chutzpah and the dogged belief that if she could get these people talking, things might start to make sense in her world. Maybe she was delusional and all this sharing was going to blow up in her face but she had to try. “Nowhere in our agreement did it state that you would make demands and we would capitulate. You’re overstepping your bounds, sweet pet.”
“Perhaps. But I don’t care. Besides, you and I both know that there’s no way we can simply go back to the way things were. Not now.”
“Perhaps if you’d kept your legs shut around Dillon we wouldn’t be in this position,” Vince growled and she gasped in hurt surprise at his vulgar statement. Nolan sighed and shot his brother a quelling look, which Vince dismissed with a glower. “This is total bullshit. If I wanted to be peppered with nagging questions, I’d have taken a wife by now. If you want to be interrogated, by all means, stay, but I’m out of here.”
“Vince…” Nolan said, stopping him with a firm hand as he attempted to brush by. Penny willed the sudden moisture away as her bravado quailed under the fiery heat of Vince’s dark mood. “Stay. She’s right. We need to tell her.”
Vince stared, unable to believe his brother’s statement. “I don’t enjoy talking about the past when there’s nothing that can be done about changing it,” he said in a low tone. “Why can’t we just leave her in peace?”
A current of understanding and empathy passed between brothers and Penny was floored by how connected the two were, even as adults. The twin-thing was in full force for even though Vince looked as if he’d rather chew off his own foot than remain and talk about Isabel, he backed away and went to the bar to pour himself a drink as he muttered, “I’m going to need plenty of this to make it through this fucking story hour.”
“Pour me one, too,” Nolan said, gesturing to Penny. “Please, darling. Sit. I’m afraid as you’ve already figured out, this story doesn’t have a happy ending and I fear, we are not the heroes.” He grimaced as he admitted, “In fact, we were bastards in this tale and I’m afraid of what your reaction may be when you hear the entire story.”
Penny swallowed but managed to nod. She came for answers. “My Papa always said, don’t ask questions that you don’t want answers for. Whatever you tell me, I’m ready to hear.”
“We’ll see about that.” Vince downed a shot of whiskey and shook his head as if he didn’t believe her. “Sweet girl, you have no idea how sordid our past has been. We’ve done things…well, let’s just say, there’s probably a special place reserved in hell for the Buchanan boys, and that includes Dillon. Are you sure you want to know all our dirty secrets? You still have a chance to close Pandora’s box.”
“I can’t go back to how things were — completely ignorant and complacent — everything is changed. I’m changed. Please tell me what happened to that poor girl and why Dillon hates you.”
Nolan accepted a glass of whiskey from Vince, and after a quick swallow, he began with a sigh. “Isabel Walker was like an angel.” A brief smile lifted the corners of his generous mouth. “And being the true devils we were, we had to have her. But Dillon got to her first. As you already know, he has a way with women. But Dillon broke the rules, he fell in love with her and declared Isabel off-limits. Of course, that only spurred us to want her more. You see, Penny, when you grow up having any and all things at your immediate disposal, the word no has little meaning. We saw it as a challenge and simply waited for the right moment to spring. We had no idea that Dillon had stopped playing the game. We didn’t believe him when he said he’d fallen in love with her.”
Penny’s gaze flicked to Vince to gauge his reaction to Nolan’s telling of the story and when he refused to look her way, she sensed that either he was ashamed of his part or there was something else he didn’t want to share or acknowledge. “So it all started off as a game between the three of you?” she asked, trying not to cry at the callousness. When Nolan nodded in a subtle motion she looked away. “That’s despicable. You played her for fun.”
“I told you we weren’t the heroes in this story,” Nolan said. “Would you like me to stop?”
As horrified as she was, she knew she had to follow through to the bitter end. “No, please continue,” she whispered. “But right about now that whiskey is looking pretty good.” Vince filled a shot with the amber liquid and handed it to her with a grim quirk of his mouth in understanding. She murmured her thanks and downed the shot. Nolan gave her a moment for the whiskey to burn a trail down to her gut before continuing. Penny choked a little as the fine liquor seared her throat and stole her breath but she needed the liquid courage to continue listening.
“Isabel was one of those rare gems who was sweet and loving and wanted to believe the best in everyone. She was the exact opposite of everything we were accustomed to in our world. You have to understand money comes with a certain privilege but it also comes with pitfalls. People are never what they seem and you learn to be a cynic. Trust is a privilege we’ve never experienced. Everyone always wants something from you when you have an excess of wealth. You learn very young to never accept anything at face value. And we were all guilty of being the worst that money can produce. Over-privileged, over-educated, and completely bored as fuck. As you can imagine that's never a good combination. When our father had decided that he'd had enough of our shenanigans, particularly that of Dillon's he put his foot down, which was something we weren't accustomed to either. Honestly, our father never paid much attention to us. He was always too busy with his own life to deal with three rambunctious boys. I don't even know why he threw down the gauntlet with Dillon. But when it happened, Dillon bucked against our father's will and a war ensued. Unfortunately, Isabel was in the middle."
"Did your father like Isabel?" Penny asked.
"No. Aside from the fact that she was dirt poor and had no connections our father’s opinion of Isabel was that she was good for one thing and when she wouldn't give it up to him he didn't want her around anymore."
"Your father propositioned Isabel?"
Vince offered a dark chuckle. "Our father liked to sample all of our girlfriends. Be thankful he's dead."
Penney shuddered. "How disgusting."
Vince laughed. "Yes, well you can’t expect sinners like us to be raised by a paragon of virtue. Our father wasn't exactly a good man."
"I'm so sorry." Penny thought of her own Papa and how wonderful he been as a father and she wondered how the three boys would've been different if they'd been raised with someone who was kind, compassionate and moral. “What did Dillon do when he found out about your father propositioning his girlfriend?"
"He went into a rage. I've never seen him so angry. I think it was the moment he realized that Isabel meant more to him then just a piece of meat. I think Dillon would've married her." Nolan shifted, as if the memory was almost too much to bear. "Isabel changed Dillon and for a time he was a better man. I don’t know, maybe that threatened our father because it was not long after that he made his demands. The irony is that Isabel defended our father because she didn't see the harm in his request for Dillon to work for him. On the surface it appeared that our father just wanted Dillon to stop screwing around and become responsible. But we all knew it went deeper than that. Hell, none of us wanted to work for our father. But Dillon was the only one who had the balls to stand up to him. Unfortunately, he paid the biggest price. When Dillon refused — his actual words to our father were to go fuck himself — Dillon was cast out of the family."
"The old man was in rare form," Vince recalled. "God, that man was a prick."
"How could a father do that to his son?" Penny asked. "I can't imagine how hurtful that must've been for Dillon."
"Yeah, it’d done a number on him. But he was too proud to admit that he was scared and he was too pissed off to take it back. Isabel tried to talk some sense into him but he wouldn't listen." Nolan paused for a refill. "And we were too selfish and self-absorbed to realize what we had in mind for Isabel was wrong."
