I looked at them in confusion. “What?”
Emma gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder as she hopped up to sit on the circulation desk. “Kate told us that the studio and Elle’s place were good to go.”
“Yeah, Ivy said the same this morning.” I wasn’t following. How did this affect them?
“You poor clueless man.” Gabby practically clucked at me. Yes, I said clucked.
“What the hell, Gabs?”
Gabby and Kate dragged two chairs over from the table to join our little group at the circulation desk. Well, at least we were the only ones in the library for the moment.
“Nate,” Gabby said with all seriousness.
“Gabby,” I repeated back in the same tone.
“Sweetheart, you and I run the romance book club in this place. You know what to do with emotions. What in the world is your problem?”
I looked from my two coworkers to Kate, who I didn’t know well but who seemed kind, back to Gabby and decided hell with it. I needed help.
“I don’t want Elle to move out,” I said. “I realize that’s completely irrational. And also some patriarchal bullshit. I also know, before you say it, that I do not get to dictate Elle’s choices. Hell, we only kissed for the first time five days ago. But, there it is.” I sat back, arms crossed, and looked at Gabby.
“Let me get this straight. We owe this fabulous mood to the fact that you finally got the girl but are worried you’re going to lose the girl, and you can’t handle all the feelings coursing through you?” Gabby had an evil smirk on her face. Emma laughed and then quickly covered her mouth. Kate was kind enough to bite her lips, but it sure seemed like she might laugh.
“Knock it off, Gabs,” I growled.
“I’m just saying for a man well-versed in the genre of romance, for a man who is typically in touch with his feelings, you sure aren’t using what you’ve learned.” She shook her head at me. “Now Nathaniel, I would assume you would know that five days is a bit quick to be roommates…”
“Um, no. From what you all have said, both Emma”—I gestured to Emma—“and Maggie were living with their respective guys within days.” I grasped on to anything I could think of to rationalize my out-of-control feelings.
“Easy, speedy,” Gabby said. Aslan, her cat, hopped up on her lap, ready to be showered with attention. Gabby ran her hand down Aslan’s back as the cat arched up into her touch and loudly shared her gratitude. “You know damn well that Emma and Max as well as Maggie and Sully had known each other for years.”
“All true,” Emma said. “Sorry, Nate.”
“Well, true.” I conceded. “But I have known Elle for over a month,” I pointed out. That was better. Right? Aslan gave me a look of what could only be viewed as pity. Great. Pity. From a cat.
“Nate.” Kate quietly spoke up. “What are you really worried about? Because I’ve talked to Elle this week. I’ve only known her for a short time, but she was ridiculously happy. And considering she told us that she had work stuff and then the pipe at her apartment, I think that’s saying something.”
I closed my eyes and took a breath. Most of the people I’d worked with, whether in Chicago or here, had been women. I’d gotten used to talking about personal problems. That’s just what they did. I was also good at listening and giving advice if, and only if, they were actually asking for it. And with these three, as much shit as Gabby liked to give me, I was going to ask. Because I wanted to make sure I hadn’t screwed anything up here.
I took a breath, ready to lay myself out there. “It just seems like we’re taking a step backward if she moves back to her apartment. So today, I made her a space in my guest room to be her office. And now,” I looked over my shoulder at the monitor behind me.
Gabby, Emma, and Kate followed my gaze. Gabby spoke for the group. “Umm, are those plans for a chicken coop?”
I dropped my head to my hands. “Yes.” Breath. “I talked to Elle after she found the space I made for an office, and she shared that part of her dream is raising chickens.” I thought about our conversation. “And houseplants.”
“Talk to me about this office space, Nate.” Gabby sounded like she was trying not to coddle me and wasn’t succeeding.
I continued looking at the floor. My Converse shoes were looking a bit worn. “Well, see…” I debated how to share what I had created for Elle without betraying her trust. “Elle’s told me about this dream she has. It involves writing, so I created a nook in a guest room for her.”
When Elle had shared her idea for her novel with me over the past few weeks, I’d immediately started pulling up images that sort of fit the characters and setting and printing them off for her. At first I was going to put them in a notebook for her to bring to the library. We’d had a young adult author visit our town this year as part of an author series that Emma had worked on with the school and Ivy’s bookstore. They’d shared that it was helpful for them when visualizing their story, so I thought it might help Elle. However, I’d transferred the pictures to a bulletin board the other day after picking one up and putting it in the bedroom. I’d hoped to make a space that would give Elle the confidence to go after her dream. I’d lost track of time and hadn’t realized she’d be moving out so soon.
“I made an inspiration board for her. Hoping it would be a nice spot for her to work and maybe reach for something she thinks is just beyond her grasp.” I sighed, not sure where to go with this. “And then I talked to her, and she mentioned in her dream there were candles, houseplants, and chickens.” But she had said she was leaning toward trying to write her story. So there was that, even if it wasn’t from my place.
“Nate,” Emma’s voice was gentle. Her hand grasped my shoulder, and I looked up to meet her eyes. “What you did took a lot of thought. I’m sure Elle is grateful.”
“She is,” I thought back to our conversation. “I know it shouldn’t matter that she’s moving back to her place. I don’t know how to explain it. Like I was happy that I moved back here, I knew I made the right decision, but when I met Elle? When I began spending time with her? When she moved in? It was like everything was as it was supposed to be. And now? I don’t want to go back.”
Emma’s expression was kind. “Maybe you need to talk to Elle about this. And remember, just because she moves back to her place doesn’t mean she can’t stay at yours sometimes. Or you at her place? Think of it like you all went on a quick trip together. Now you’re back home and continuing the relationship.”
