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There was only one way to prove to him that my word was good.
“Tell me what you need and I’ll find it for you.”
Cason dipped to kiss me, his tongue mastering mine. I sank into his embrace, feeling safe for the first time in my life.
Butcher had sent me away on the pretense of protecting me but I hadn’t felt safe, only abandoned.
Now, ready to do something life-changing, I wanted to cling to him and never let go.
Maybe I was losing my mind.
I shouldn’t want him so much.
I shouldn’t want to help him.
But it didn’t matter how many times logic and reason were introduced into the argument, when I looked in his eyes or succumbed to his touch, I lost all sense of what I “should” do.
All I knew was what I wanted.
And I wanted Cason.
Chapter 24
Cason
I dropped Holly off on her campus and watched her go. It wasn’t until she was safely inside her apartment, did I leave.
Not that I wanted to but I couldn’t afford to be seen with her.
I didn’t know if Butcher had eyes on campus, but I was willing to bet that he did.
I met Tito back at my place, feeling as if I’d either made the biggest mistake of my life or I’d hit the jackpot.
Except I didn’t know which feeling was true.
Tito walked into my place and fixed with a dark glared. “What the fuck? Have you lost your fucking mind? You let her go? She’s going to go straight to Butcher and our asses will be cooked.”
“Maybe,” I agreed. “Or maybe not.”
Tito threw up his hands as he paced the floor. “Ahhh, great. Now you’re a philosopher. Wake up, Cason! She played you. Somehow she managed to get under your skin and dance to her tune instead of the other way around. I knew I should’ve been the one watching her, not you. You had a cock-stand the minute you saw her. Fuck, man!”
I didn’t begrudge Tito’s frustration. I may very well have signed both our death warrants. Only time would tell.
“She’s going to come through for us.”
“And why would she do that?” Tito demanded. “Because we treated her so well? Because we’re two swell guys who just happened along? No, Cason. We fucking kidnapped her, tied her up, and you shackled her to the wall in a sex dungeon. Yeah, that’s the recipe for love at first sight.”
“No one said anything about love,” I cut in, shifting as I suffered the heat of Tito’s incriminating points. “But I think there’s more to Butcher’s relationship with Holly than meets the eye.”
“What are you talking about?” Tito asked.
“What if…bear with me for a minute…what if Butcher wasn’t her brother at all?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Tito groaned, sinking into the worn chair by the door. “What do you mean?”
“It was something Holly had said to me. She doesn’t have any recollection of her parents because they died when she was too young and she’s never seen any official documents stating she is who Butcher says she is. Plus, Butcher handled all the details of getting her into the university. You and I both know that Butcher isn’t above taking a kid that wasn’t his to use for his own purposes.”
“But he treats her like a princess,” Tito pointed out, trying to find the flaws in my half-baked theory. “Why would he do that for a stranger?”
“What if he was…saving her for himself?”
“You mean, like, a wife or something?”
“Yeah.”
“But she thinks he’s her brother.” Tito made a face. “That’s disgusting.”
“But if he’s not…then there’s nothing stopping him from putting his plan into play.”
Tito whistled under his breath as the import of the twisted theory came into focus. “That’s some fucked up shit.”
I agreed. “And if that’s the case, Butcher has been lying to her all her life. Trust me, that’s going to go over like a lead balloon with Holly.”
Tito leaned forward, bracing his upper body with his elbows on his knees. “C’mon man, what’s going on with you and that chick? You’re different. I’ve never seen you so obsessed with one woman. You’ve got that look in your eye like she belongs to you or something. That’s dangerous, man.”
I couldn’t explain my feelings.
Tito would never understand, anyway.
I did feel different.
I wasn’t the same man who’d plotted Holly’s kidnapping, nor was I same man who’d coldly planned to ruin her to get at her brother.
I still wanted to take Butcher down but I didn’t want Holly in harm’s way while I did it.
Making a decision, Tito said firmly, “You need to get out. Have a beer. Let the smoke clear from your fucking brain. Let’s hit up Dolly’s and see if we can’t lose ourselves in booze and women.”
But I didn’t want other women.
I wanted Holly.
The thought of another woman touching me left me cold.
Even repulsed.
But if I admitted that to Tito, he’d question my sanity. I loved fucking women. All shapes and sizes. I never discriminated. And I never gave up the chance to dip my wick in some hot pussy.
But that was all over now.
I wanted Holly and that was it.
I wanted to hear her sweet cries as I punished her ass, then soft moans as I lovingly trace faint lines into the red wheals with a gentle touch.
Holly was hotter than a New York summer and she was completely unaware of the power she could wield over men.
Her tits were pillowy perfection and her hips made me drool.
That feminine silhouette was smoking hot.
I wasn’t lying when I told her, the men around her must’ve been blind to miss how gorgeous she was.
Maybe I ought to be thankful for all those books she liked to read because they’d kept her cloistered away for me to find when the time was right.
Her love of books made me want to learn to love
them, too.
Except I was dyslexic as fuck, which made reading excruciatingly frustrating and gave me a headache.
But I would find a way for her.
And all this I would do, if she didn’t betray me.
The fact was, I didn’t know if I was being a schmuck. Maybe I was plain stupid for letting her go but there was no turning back from the way I felt about her.
Whether she betrayed me or not, I wouldn’t be able to follow through with my original plan.
So, I had to take a chance.
A chance that Holly felt the same as I did.
And if that wasn’t the scariest chance I’d ever taken in my life…I didn’t know what was.
Tito, realizing I wasn’t coming with him, shook his head as he grumbled under his breath before slamming out the door, “Pussy-whipped son-of-a-bitch gonna get us both killed. I need a fucking drink and a wet and willing woman ASAP. I’m gonna make the most of my last twenty-four hours, motherfucker. I suggest you do the same.”
I closed my eyes.
Let the waiting begin.
Chapter 25
Holly
My apartment felt foreign.
Even though I was surrounded by everything my life had been, my books, my pictures, my Post-In Note forest above my desk, I felt like a stranger in my own place.
Everything had been put on fast forward. I’d catapulted past the usual stages of college life, skipping the usual stuff that made for great stories later, and landed in a story of my own that I never would’ve believed three days ago.
Cason.
I was still in awe that he’d brought me back.
I could completely screw him over.
Payback for what he’d tried to do to me.
I would be completely justified.
Anyone else might do it in a heartbeat.
But I wasn’t just anyone.
I danced to the beat of my own drum and always have.
I used to think that put me apart because I was damaged but now I realized, my differences were what made me unique.
