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I would never fit in with people I had nothing in common with and that was okay.
I wanted to find my own tribe of weirdos to hang with.
And I wanted Cason standing with me.
My breath caught as I thought of the baby that might be growing inside me right now.
A little piece of me and Cason, melded together in a perfect tiny package.
God, I wanted to be pregnant.
I wanted to hold that sweet bundle of perfection in my arms and give it all the love I’d been denied.
I wanted to see Cason’s expression as the doctor placed our baby in his arms for the first time.
Was any of that possible?
Was it a fairytale I couldn’t possibly turn into reality?
Butcher would have Cason killed if he found out.
My brother had always been oddly protective of my innocence. When I was younger, I thought his actions were admirable, the one way Butcher could show me that he loved me, but now, with the seeds of doubt sprouting in my head, I didn’t know what to think.
I had finals to deal with — time hadn’t stopped while I was off experiencing the love of my life on fast forward.
Sighing, I dragged myself to the shower to clean up — a real clean up rather than a whore’s bath — and when I was done, I had every intention to crack the books but fatigue won out instead.
Falling to my bed, I dropped off almost immediately, dead to the world.
Except my head was filled with dreams of Cason.
His scent, his smile, his stern expression when I was driving him crazy…
All of him.
I would take whatever he could give me.
Chapter 26
Butcher
Johnny entered my office, a look of extreme relief on his scraggy face.
“Boss, she’s back,” he said, causing me to wait for him to elaborate. “Holly is back in her apartment.”
“Where was she?”
“I don’t know. But she’s back. Maybe she spent a few days with friends?”
“She doesn’t have any friends,” I reminded Johnny with a glower. “Find out where she was.”
“Sure thing, boss.”
Johnny left me alone to solve the puzzle of Holly’s little disappearing act. I steepled my fingers as I ran through scenarios and possible action.
She had a boyfriend.
(I would kill him.)
She had a social life.
(I would end it.)
She was trying to skip town.
(I would find her.)
Holly’s life belonged to me. I had nurtured her, provided for her, given her every advantage.
Now it was time to pay her dues.
I’d waited longer than I thought possible but my patience was at an end.
Soon enough, Holly Brannon would become Holly Brannon for real.
I couldn’t wait.
A smile found me.
It’s all about the long game, people. Putting plans into motion for a larger pay off, rather than immediate gratification.
My ability to see several steps ahead was why I was running the largest, most organized gang in New York.
I had money but I lacked respectability.
Holly would help me gain that final missing component.
She was pretty but not too much so. Plump and sweet with a trustworthy demeanor.
A perfect wife for the new me.
Politics were the new arena I wanted to conquer and image was everything.
Ohhh, Holly, my sweet girl. You will make my dreams come true.
I was so pleased with how things were going, I didn’t even need a blow job to release the tension. Besides, that last whore had been pretty ruined, I chuckled at the memory.
It would be a miracle if she could shit on her own again. Ahh, well. Whores were a dime a dozen.
It was time I elevated my extracurricular activities as well.
Maybe I’d try monogamy for a time.
I liked that idea.
One woman, made just for me. I would gift her with my fidelity.
No more whores, strippers, or hot trannies.
In fact, I was willing to go without until I had Holly wrapping her luscious lips around my cock.
I was feeling downright magnanimous.
Ringing for my secretary, she hustled in, looking anxious.
“Yes Mr. Brannon?”
“Take the day off, sweetheart. You’ve earned it.”
She bobbed a grateful nod. “Thank you, sir.”
I grinned and grabbed a cigar.
Life was good when you were the king.
All that was missing was my queen.
Chapter 27
Holly
Finals came and went without any contact with Cason. I tried to focus on my exams but my mind was stubbornly determined to bounce back and forth between the possibility that I was pregnant and the fear that Butcher might harm Cason if he found out.
I’d expected to hear from Cason by now but either he was laying low or he’d abandoned me.
I winced at the possibility.
Please, not that.
Cason’s rejection would kill me.
It was also time for me to pack. Graduation was looming and Butcher had already instructed his men to pick me up the day before. I wasn’t going to be able to walk with my class.
Butcher wanted me home now.
The urgency of his request was odd. He’d always pushed education over building a relationship with him but now, he seemed anxious to have me home.
I wish I’d felt a stronger connection with Butcher. He was my only family but he was a stranger to me.
Sometimes I’d caught him looking at me oddly but it was gone before I could question it further.
Most times I thought I was imagining it because what was I suggesting?
My brother was not lusting after me. The very thought disgusted me.
Was it possible that Cason was right, that Butcher wasn’t my family at all?
An uncomfortable shudder shook my body.
I would have to pick between Cason or Butcher.
Cason was my future but Butcher was my past.
I didn’t want to choose but I would.
If Cason was right about Butcher, he had to answer for what he’d done.
My stomach roiled as the urge to puke overcame me. My nerves were shot.
Why hadn’t Cason called yet?
Please God, don’t make me a fool.
I grabbed a box and started packing my things, mentally saying goodbye to four years of my life. I hadn’t entrenched myself into university life but I would miss Paula, the librarian.
She’d been kind to me when no one else noticed I was alive.
The door opened and Johnny walked in. I jumped and glared at his entrance. “How about knocking first?” I suggested with a glower.
Johnny was my brother’s right hand man. He’d always reminded me a weasel. Tall, thin with a wiry build, he slouched and slinked, which I found really distasteful.
And now he was just walking into my apartment like he owned it.
“What do you want? I’m not done packing yet.”
“Where were you last week?” he asked, poking around my things, snooping. “You weren’t home.”
I narrowed my gaze. “And what business is it of yours where I was?”
He turned to cut a short glance my way before returning to his search. “Oh, I could care less but your brother cares a lot. Where were you?”
Was Butcher watching me? How would he know I hadn’t been home? The thought was nearly as distasteful as Johnny was ugly.
“I stayed with friends.”
“You don’t have friends.”
I blinked at the insult. “I have friends.”
“Yeah? Name one.”
“I’m not going to dignify that with an answer.”
“I’d hate for your brother to think that you were out being a slut. I don’t think he’d take to that ve
ry well.”
