AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I love you, Zachary Wright. But I can’t have a life with you, her old self told her. I’ll hurt you.
Every day she got texts.
Hey, isn’t Josaia doing well? He’s like a new kid. Hugs, Zac.
Yep, their young patient had turned into a bright and bubbly boy desperate to get out and play.
CC, you want to have dinner at that new Italian place? Zac.
Absolutely, yes. But she didn’t.
You okay? I’m here for you. Hugs, Zac.
No, I’m not okay. I’m missing you. So much it’s like there’s a hole where my heart used to be. She thought of those shoulders she liked to lean against, that strong body that made her feel safe and warm. And missed him even more.
Did your mother go into the clinic this week? More hugs, Zac.
Yes, surprisingly, Mum had.
Olivia didn’t answer any of the texts. When she found a huge bunch of irises in gold and purple paper on her doorstep on Thursday night with a note saying, ‘Love, Zac,’ she wanted to cry. Oh, all right, she did cry. But she didn’t ring to thank him. Or to acknowledge what his message might mean.
Friday night he sent photos of his nephews. ‘Check these guys out. I’m mending bridges.’ The cutest little boys hung off Uncle Zac’s arms, beaming directly at the camera. Zac looked happy but wary. It wasn’t hard to see him with his own kids hanging off him like that. Her heart rolled. She wanted that—with Zac. Children. She had no idea how to raise kids but with Zac at her side she’d learn.
Saturday morning her phone rang. She sighed when she saw the number. ‘Hello, Mum.’
‘Darling, come and get me. I hate it here. They treat me like a child. I can’t have anything I want.’
‘Where are you ringing from?’ Patients weren’t allowed any contact with family for the first few weeks.
‘I’m at a coffee shop around the corner from the clinic. The coffee’s terrible but the owner let me use the phone. Hurry, Olivia. I can’t stand the place.’
‘Mum, listen to me.’ It hurt to breathe. ‘I am not coming to get you. You have to go back and start getting better.’
‘It’s him, isn’t it? He’s told you to do this.’
‘Don’t blame Zac.’ I am finally opening my eyes and seeing that to be kind to you I have to be strong and hard. ‘I want you to stop drinking.’
‘Come and get me so we can talk about it,’ her mother wheedled.
‘Sorry, but I’ve got someone to see.’ Why had she left it so long? Zac was her man.
‘What about me?’
‘Mum, I love you, but I am about to put me first.’ Me and Zac. ‘Don’t bother coming around to my house. I won’t be here. Please go back to the clinic. Do this for yourself.’ She cut their conversation, then turned the phone off and put it in a drawer. She was on a mission and didn’t want any interruptions.
In her bedroom she gazed into the wardrobe, trying to decide what to wear. That red dress stood out amongst the dark winter clothes. Reaching for it, she hesitated. Zac had lost his mind when she’d worn it in Fiji but this was early afternoon and it was very cold outside. The many trousers and blouses were too work-like. The green skirt she pulled out didn’t excite her either. In the end she slipped into the designer skin-tight jeans and silk blouse she’d worn on the day of the gala when they’d caught up again at the hotel. Zipping up the knee-high boots, she did a twirl in front of her mirror. ‘Not bad.’ For the first time in days she could feel some control coming back, could feel her body tightening up. The thigh-length coat from that day completed the look, and made her smile briefly.
A quick check of her make-up and a swipe of her hair with the brush and she was on her way, not giving herself time to think about what she was doing. Laying her life on the line was what this was about.
Stop thinking, just concentrate on driving through the downtown traffic.
What if—?
No what-ifs, she told herself as she pressed the buzzer for Zac’s apartment. This is do or don’t. And don’t is no longer an option.
‘Hello?’
It’s not too late to run. ‘Zac, it’s me.’
A soft buzzing and she was stepping into the elevator. She didn’t hesitate but pressed the button for the penthouse floor and held herself ramrod straight, ready for anything, refusing to acknowledge the flapping sensations in her stomach.
Zac was standing outside the elevator door as it opened. His smile was friendly but cautious. ‘Olivia.’
‘Zac.’ Suddenly the full import of what she’d come to say slammed into her like an avalanche. Her hand went out to the wall to steady herself.
He took her elbow. ‘Come into the apartment.’
Through the thick layers of coat and silk blouse she felt heat spreading out from where his fingers touched her, filling her with courage. Reaching behind her, he said, ‘Let me take your coat.’
As she shrugged out of the sleeves she breathed deeply, boosted her courage. Then she turned to face him. ‘I’m sorry I haven’t been returning your texts or thanking you for the flowers.’
‘That’s okay.’
‘But it isn’t. I was rude, and there is no excuse for that. Zac, I came to tell you I love you.’ There. She’d done it.
That smile didn’t change; didn’t fade, neither did it widen or soften. ‘I was hoping you might.’
‘I think I always have, but I’ve been so busy trying to deny it that I’ve made a lot of mistakes.’ This was hard, yet relief was catching at her. ‘Is there a future for us?’
‘What do you want, Olivia? Marriage? Children and a dog?
Too much too soon. She took a step back. ‘Could we try living together first? See how that goes? I didn’t have good role models growing up and I’d hate to make the mistakes my parents did.’
Zac closed the gap, standing directly in front of her. He ran a finger down her cheek and over her chin. ‘No, sweetheart. It’s all or nothing. I love you and I want the whole picture.’
He loved her. To hear those words did funny things to her heart. Wow. To hear Zac tell her he loved her was the most wonderful thing. She smiled at him, sure her face was all goofy-looking.
Then the rest of what he’d said hit her, and she shook her head. ‘I know nothing about happy families. I don’t even know if I can love you and kids and my mother. I’ve kept myself shut off from all that, only ever loved one person.’
His mouth softened and the kiss he placed on the corner of her mouth felt lighter than a butterfly landing. ‘I’ll help you. But I don’t want a practice run. Let’s get married, jump in boots and all, a full commitment to each other and our lives. I believe in you, Olivia. If you falter we’ll work it out. Just as I expect you to do for me. My family history isn’t any more encouraging than yours and yet I want to make it work with you.’
Hope began to unfurl at the bottom of her stomach. ‘Really? You want all that with me?’
Now he gave her the full-blown grin she enjoyed so much. ‘That’s only the beginning, girl. There’re the hot nights in bed, the lazy days lying in front of your fire and eating takeout food, the days when we’re both working so hard the only contact we have is by text, but we’ll always know we’re there for each other.’
‘What about the days my mother does her thing?’ He’d seen what she could do.
‘We support her and try to turn her back on track. We do not split up over her. We will be together, in love, war, and everything in between.’ Those arms she’d been hankering for wound around her waist and drew her close so his eyes looked directly into hers. ‘I love you, Olivia, more than life itself. Please, say you’ll marry me.’ His mouth hovered close to hers, waiting.
‘Okay. Yes, please. I will. Let’s get married. Sooner rather than later.’ Talk about jumping in at the deep end. But somehow she didn’t think she was going to drown, not with Zac holding her. ‘Did I mention I love you?’
‘Not often enough for me to be absolutely sure,’ he said just before claiming her mout
h with his.
Minutes later Zac lifted his head. ‘Now I know why I had the impulse to buy a bottle of your favourite bubbles. Come on, let’s celebrate.’
