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Who used to bag bitches with me.

Who used to party with me.

Who has gone hunting and fishing with me as part of an all-guys’ retreat. (We obviously went with other guys, Jesus.)

That same Malcolm is now talking about tying himself to one woman forever.

What can I say?

It’s the power of love. Faced with something like this, I think I need to work out hardcore.

Time to hit Colt Academy.