Page 55
‘Is this the polite doctor way to tell me I need to sort my shit out?’
She laughs. ‘I guess, yes.’
Her laugh eases the tension in my chest. She’s not looking at me like some kind of monster any more that let a bunch of money go to his head and suddenly morphed into some ridiculous parody of a sugar daddy.
‘You told Denise and Lucy that you wanted to do something with meaning. This money surely gives you the opportunity to something really meaningful. For you. And Bob. Not for me.’
That’s right – I had said that. I guess with everything that happened straight after that, it went by the wayside. ‘That could take a while.’ Especially considering I don’t even know where to start.
She shrugs. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
The confirmation floods me with relief. I didn’t totally blow it then. There’s still hope. Once I’ve sorted my shit out. She’s giving me a chance to retreat and rethink. ‘But what will you do without my wonder schlong in your life?’
One of my bad habits is to try and lighten tense situations with humour. A lot of the time it doesn’t work. Thankfully, Holly laughs. ‘I’m sure I’ll survive.’
Survive. I frown at the desolation of that term. ‘That sounds bleak.’ I say it with a faux dramatic shudder to soften the words. But the thought of Holly surviving, just going through the motions of her life like before she met me, makes me want to peel my skin off.
‘I’ll…’ She shrugs. ‘Finally get that vibrator.’
Part of me is insulted that she thinks a silicone dick is a worthy substitute, but the fact she still doesn’t own one is depressing. ‘Yes, but will you, is the question?’
Because I know her, now. She’ll fall back into her old ways of neglecting her sexuality and although I don’t plan to stay away for too long, she should still be loving herself on the regular.
She rolls her eyes. ‘Yes.’
‘Really?’
She bugs her eyes this time. ‘Yes.’
She smiles then and I smile back, and I love her so much it hurts. The heat has gone out of our argument but the end result is still the same – she’s going to walk away. As if reading my mind, she gives a little shrug. ‘I’d better get going.’
I want to ask her to stay a bit longer, but she has to study and I have some serious research to do, too. So, I just nod and say, ‘I’ll call tomorrow.’
‘Okay.’ She sweeps out of my room then like a runaway bride, the sheet trailing behind as she heads for where her clothes were discarded last night. There’s a catch in my chest. A pain. Sharp and stabby. More painful than I even imagined watching her leave.
Way to fuck things up, dufus.
13
HOLLY
Two weeks. It’s been two weeks. Normally the weeks fly by thanks to shift work and study and the never-ending treadmill of exhaustion, but these two weeks have moved slow as molasses. And nowhere near as sweet.
Danny loves me.
Danny loves me.
Danny loves me.
I’m supposed to be studying. There are papers and open textbooks strewn across the table. But all I can think is Danny loves me. I panicked when he blurted it out because it instantly felt like a jigsaw piece clicking into place, but how could that be?
Yes, there were feelings, but… love?
It seemed too soon and too quick and too… half baked. Too like Danny and not enough like me with my bullet journal and ten-year plans, erupting from the middle of his stream of consciousness trip into fantasy land about living like the Kardashians.
I suppose a lot of women would be thrilled if the guy they were… seeing suddenly came into lots of money, but my parents worked too hard put me through college and I’ve worked toohard to get where I am just to throw it all away to become a lady of leisure. Forget the reason why I became a doctor in the first place.
Although, I admit as I stare at the books in front of me, bleary-eyed, some days that has a certain amount of appeal.
