The door opened a tiny bit and in trotted Runcible. I jumped off the bed and scooped her up for a cuddle, pulling the door wider at the same time.
‘Theo! Thank you so much for looking after her. Have you had a good day?’
‘Really good!’ he said, his eyes shining. ‘We’re planning our own Christmas party at the sanctuary with edible stockings for all the birds and animals, and then Constance took me to Bettys tea rooms to celebrate nearly finishing her book and I had three cakes.’
‘Sounds amazing! What did you do with Runcible when you were there? I didn’t think they allowed dogs in.’
‘They don’t, unless they’re assistance dogs, but Constance put Runcible in her bag and told them she was her therapy dog. She looked so sweet with her nose poking out that nobody minded. She had a lovely time.’
‘I bet she did. I’m so grateful to you for being such a good doggy-sitter.’
Theo flung his arms tightly around my waist in the sudden way that he had, and mumbled, ‘I’m going to miss her when you’re gone.’
A lump formed in my throat, and I hugged him back, whispering, ‘She’s going to miss you, too, Theo. Very much.’
‘Does she have to go?’
‘I – I don’t know.’
He pulled away slightly and looked up at me with a tearstained face.
‘Really? Might you really not go, Fallon? I know Daddy doesn’t want you to, and neither do I.’
I have never been so glad in my life to hear my mother’s acid tones breaking in.
‘Darling, have you madenoattempt to get ready while I’ve been in the shower?’
We both turned to her, then glanced at each other with suppressed grins. She looked magnificent but ridiculous in a cream silk robe, her hair swathed in some sort of plastic cap to protect her blow dry, and her face smeared generously with purple cream.
‘Sorry, Mum,’ I managed to get out. ‘I’ll hop in the shower now. Thanks again for looking after Runcible,’ I added to Theo. ‘I’ll see you at the party later.’
He nodded and left, and I scuttled down to the bathroom before Mum could offer me any of her beautifying concoctions to try.
When I emerged, she was looking much better with the goop and the plastic cap gone, sitting in front of the mirror applying foundation with an expert hand.
‘What are you wearing tonight?’ she asked. ‘I know it wasn’t much notice and I wasn’t sure you’d brought anything suitable. Maybe the dress you had for the Bond party?’
‘Actually, I picked something up when I was in London,’ I said, taking the long bag out of the wardrobe and unzipping it. ‘The amazing woman who we rent dresses from sorted it out for me with about ten minutes’ notice. I had to carry it all round the Nativity, but I think it was worth it.’ A little flutter of excitement rippled through me as I pulled the dress out of the bag: Marcella had outdone herself, and surely even Mum couldn’t find fault with this. It was a floor-length dress with a fishtail hem that pooled around my feet and a deep V-neck, and it was covered with gold sequins. It wasn’t very ‘me’ and it wasn’t remotely subtle, but it was showstopping, and I hoped Mumwould be pleased, hoped that I had finally got it right. I wasn’t disappointed.
‘Darling,’ she breathed, standing up and coming over to feel the fabric and the weight of the dress. ‘It’sstunningand you will look wonderful in it. Oh, thank you, thank you for making such an effort for my party. Youarehappy for me, aren’t you?’
An unprecedented look of vulnerability crossed her face, and I gave her a hug as sudden as one of Theo’s.
‘Very,’ I said. ‘Douglas is perfect for you and you’re so happy. I’m thrilled for you both.’
She hugged me back, before returning to business.
‘Now, what shoes are you going to wear with it, show me. And I have the most marvellous eyeshadow you must use. Oh, come here, let me do it for you, it’ll be quicker.’
All Mum’s years in the entertainment industry had taught her a thing or two about make-up, and as she stroked the products skilfully onto my face, I couldn’t understand why she didn’t do this on social media, instead of all the ‘wellness’ that she favoured. I was sure people would welcome her expert tips, but maybe she didn’t want to reveal the secrets behind the magic? I began to relax as she worked – maybe it was time to try and build our relationship up a little? I was finally beginning to feel that I could leave the past in the past. Something similar was clearly on her mind too.
‘Fallon, being with Douglas, and having you here has given me cause for some reflection. I do know that I wasn’t always the best mother when you were young, and I regret that. But you do understand, don’t you, that I cannot regret the pursuit of my career?’
I nodded, feeling an odd surge of adrenaline at this unexpected turn of events.
‘But what I do realise is that I failed to find a balance, when I could have done, I think. And, well, the thing is…’
My eyes met hers in the mirror and didn’t break away. We were drinking each other in as if meeting for the first time.
