“Jane! Stop! Curse these shoes, you know I cannot run in them. Jane!” The sound of Emily cursing followed her, and a moment later, there was a clatter.
Jane turned to see her sister kicking off her shoes and running towards her. “What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I am doing? I am trying to catch up to you, as you seem determined to avoid me.” Emily frowned at her as she picked up her discarded shoes. “Now, are you going to tell me what is going on?”
“We are leaving.” Jane shrugged and began to walk up the stairs, wiping tears away as she did so.
“Yes, I gathered that. Cressida asked me why I was not packing.” Emily frowned at her, clearly taking in all of Jane’s appearance. “What is going on? Why are you crying?”
“It is nothing.”
“Jane, this is the second time today that I have found you like this. More to the point, you have lied to our friends and told them we must leave at once because of some family emergency.” Emily glanced around her as she said this, lowering her voice. “Now are you going to tell me what is going on or not?”
Jane bit her lip, replaying all that had happened between her and Blake. “We need to pack.”
“I have asked one of the maids to pack my things, and I will help you pack yours.” Emily looped her arm through Jane’s. “Now, you are going to tell me everything, or I swear that I will sit on you until you do.”
“Have you always been like this?” Jane shook her head, smiling at her sister. “When did you get so commanding?”
“I am not commanding, I am simply looking out for you.” Emily opened the door to Jane’s room and ushered her inside. “Now, tell me exactly what is going on.”
Jane bit her lip and took a steadying breath. Her chest felt tight yet hollow. She dabbed at her face with a handkerchief and began to tell her sister everything. Words poured out of Jane as she told Emily about kissing Blake, about how happy it had made her.
“I knew it!” Emily exclaimed, clapping her hands together.
“Well, let us hope no one else did.” Jane shook her head. “There can be nothing more between us.”
“What? But…” Emily trailed off at the look on Jane’s face.
“But nothing. As if it was not bad enough, I overheard him talking to the Marquess about not wanting to marry me—the look on his face when we danced…” Jane stopped speaking as she pictured Blake’s face as he had prepared to propose. “He was going to propose, and I stopped him.”
“Why?” Emily sounded bewildered as she packed Jane’s clothes into a suitcase.
“He looked like a man sentenced to the gallows. As though proposing was a fate worse than death.” Jane could not keep the hurt from her voice.
I thought he cared for me. Why would he look at me like that if he cared about me?
“That makes no sense. Are you sure you did not misread the situation?” Emily canted her head, her brow furrowed.
“I know what I saw.” Jane clenched her hands into fists. “He does not want to marry me.”
“Do you want to marry him?” Emily asked.
“It does not matter what I want,” Jane answered as she added another dress to the suitcase.
“Of course, it does,” Emily insisted.
“I do not want him to feel forced into something with me.” Jane met Emily’s gaze. “I do not want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has been trapped into marriage. The thought of Blake being with me out of some sense of obligation, of duty and honor alone, it breaks my heart.”
“But perhaps it would not be merely a sense of obligation or duty. Perhaps it is something else.” Emily searched her sister’s face, and Jane could see the hope in her eyes.
“I cannot gamble away my future on hope. And I do not want to force anyone to be with me.” Jane’s voice was steady. “I may not be seeking love, but I would at least like to feel as though whoever I will marry is choosing me. I want to be chosen, Emily, and if I had accepted Blake’s proposal… I know he would not have been there by choice.”
“Are you so sure he would not choose you?” Emily asked.
“You did not see his face,” Jane said.
Emily agreed, but there was an oddly determined look in her eyes. “No, but it is clear he cares for you. And you said he was willing to propose. Is that not him choosing you?”
