“That is him doing what is honorable,” Jane countered.
He is and always will be a rake.
“But perhaps in time the honorable thing would become something else,” Emily said.
“I am not Rose, and he is not Alexander.” Jane smiled bitterly. “I do not think I could live with myself if I forced him to be with me. How could we be anything else when every day would be colored by the knowledge that he did not truly want to be with me?”
“But—” Emily began, but Jane cut her off, raising a hand.
“But nothing. Please, Emily. I know that you had some foolish thought that Blake and I might end up together, but it is not going to happen. He is a rake. I have known that since we first met. There was never any future for us, and I was a fool to let myself get so caught up in it.” Jane felt her heart twist and sink.
Emily opened her mouth as if to say something, and then closed it again, shaking her head. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Jane and pulled her into a tight embrace.
“I am sorry this has caused you such hurt,” Emily murmured.
“It is not your fault. It was my own. I was so excited at feeling free, at finally being able to be myself. I probably mistook that for something else. That is all.”
“It has been nice to see you be yourself.” Emily smiled and squeezed her hand.
“And I will be thankful in that regard for the rest of my life. Something about being here has been like a challenge to reconnect with myself, and I am glad of it.” Jane sighed.
Perhaps that is why the Duke does not wish to marry me—he has seen who I really am and does not care for it.
“As am I,” Emily agreed.
After a moment, Jane said, “Mother was right. I should have just kept my distance from him.”
“I do not think Mother was right.” Emily bit her lip. “But let us pack and leave. Perhaps the journey will help heal some of the hurt.”
“I can only hope so.” Jane felt the same cold hollowness within her chest and tried to force herself to smile. “I am glad you are here.”
“As am I, Sister mine.” Emily embraced her again. “Though I do have half a mind to find the Duke and beat some sense into him.”
Jane laughed. “Please do not.”
“I will not. But only because I know you would never forgive me.” Emily scowled and then added thoughtfully. “Still, he is a fool if he lets you go.”
“Then I suppose he is a fool,” Jane replied.
The words seemed to hang in the air between them for a moment. Jane wanted to believe that the Duke was a fool, that it was some fault of his. Yet, the small part of her that had spent years being told she was too much whispered that it had been right all along.
You are just some passing fancy, you know that, don’t you?
Lady Waterburry’s words seemed to settle into her chest. Jane gritted her teeth, a violent urge to scream rising within her. But she forced it down. Whatever she was to Blake, it did not matter.
She was going home, and she would leave all of this behind.
It is time to stop living in a dream and return to the real world.
ChapterTwenty-Eight
Ill Met By Night
Blake had wandered aimlessly around the grounds for some time after Jane had ended their dance. He felt as though he were in a daze, as though the world and everything in it were very far away. He had hoped that being among trees and nature would somehow clear the turmoil in his head.
He leaned against the trunk of the big oak tree and stared up into the sky. It was a full moon, and the stars shone down upon him. In any other circumstance, he might have thought it beautiful, but at that moment, it felt like some cruel joke.
“What kind of man have I become?” Blake murmured to himself.
