He could see Jane’s hurt face in his mind’s eye, and each time he heard her voice break, he felt a smaller part of himself break too.
“It is better this way,” Blake told himself. “Just look at the damage I have done with just a kiss. Look at the pain I have caused her with my selfishness! Why should she trust me with her heart?”
An image of his father flashed in his mind, his father and the maid he had broken his marriage vows with. His father peering up at him from the dirt.
Blake clenched his fist and rubbed the fingers of his other hand over his knuckles, remembering the feeling of striking the man.
“I hope wherever you are, you are twice as miserable as I am at this moment,” Blake muttered as he tugged at his cravat. “I hate you.”
He opened the door to his room and slipped inside, his thoughts dark.
I do not want to marry you.
Jane had not even let him propose. Her words echoed in his head.
“It is better this way,” Blake said as he moved to the decanter of whiskey and poured himself a measure.
“Do you always talk to yourself when you are alone?” a woman’s voice murmured from behind him.
He whirled around, and for one desperate moment, he was half convinced that he would find himself face-to-face with Jane. But the voice was not hers, and instead, he found himself face-to-face with Lady Waterburry, who was sprawled on one of the sofas in his room.
“Why don’t you pour us both a little nightcap and join me on the sofa?” Lady Waterburry practically purred, stroking the fabric beside her.
“I am in no mood for company,” Blake replied, not caring if he was being impolite. “It is late.”
“It is rather rude to not even offer a guest some refreshments.” Lady Waterburry gestured to the glass in his hand, shifting closer to him but remaining on the sofa.
“It is rather rude to invite yourself into someone else’s chambers,” Blake replied. “What if someone saw you come in here?”
“Oh, do not worry. I made sure no one did. I have been waiting here for hours.” She stretched back, and Blake realized that her dress had been tailored in a very immodest way.
“Why?” He turned away from her.
“Because I wanted some time with you, of course. Our last meeting was rather rudely interrupted.” He heard footsteps and her voice getting closer. “I thought perhaps we could pick up where we left off.”
Jane’s face flashed through his mind, her angry face the night they had met, and his heart twisted. “I have already told you, I am not in the mood for company.”
“Really? I find that hard to believe.” Lady Waterburry tried to trace a finger along his arm, but he moved away so that her finger met only empty air. “Besides, you seem to have rather a lot on your mind. Perhaps you could use a distraction.”
“The only distraction I want is the distraction of a good night’s sleep.” He looked at her and gestured towards the door to his chambers. “I would ask that you leave my rooms immediately.”
“Do not be coy with me, Blake. I know you want me.” Lady Waterburry gave him a predatory smile.
The sound of his name on her lips made him shudder. There was a wrongness to it and an odd sense of ownership in how she said it. He remembered the way Jane said his name, as though it were a caress. His heart twisted again, and he pushed the image of her face out of his mind.
“I am not being coy, My Lady. I wish to be alone.” Blake stepped out of her reach, nodding towards the door.
“A man like you never wishes to be alone.” Lady Waterburry strode towards him and traced a finger down his chest.
He caught it and moved her hand away, feeling his temper flare. “Do not touch me.”
“My, my. Someone is a little testy tonight.” She gestured vaguely and perched on the edge of one of the nearby sofas, pouting as she asked, “Tell me, what has got you so worked up? Perhaps I can help.”
“I do not need any help from you,” Blake replied.
“Do you not? Are we not old friends? After all, we have been promised to each other since childhood.” She smiled a knowing smile, her voice sultry and inviting.
Blake found it entirely unappealing, but something in her words tugged at him. Frowning, he asked, “What are you talking about?”
