“He did not have to ride so close to you, nor spend so much time with you. He seems to seek you out.” Lady Bellmore continued. “Why you also seem drawn to him or at the very least to enjoy his company.”
“Of course, I do. It would look rather odd if we avoided each other when we are supposed to be in love.” Charlotte hugged herself, feeling an odd mixture of defensiveness and disappointment well up within her.What is wrong with me?“We only do these things because we must, because they are part of the plan. We must be convincing, or else all of this will have been for nothing.”
“If you say so.” Lady Bellmore gently rested a hand on Charlotte’s arm, her eyes soft as she looked at her.
“Besides, even if I did have feelings for Dominic, which I decidedly do not, I would not want to be married to a rake.” An image of him flirting with the women she had seen when they arrived flashed in her mind. “Rakes cannot be trusted.”A mistake I have already made.
“You do not know that he is as much of a rake as rumour would have you believe,” Lady Bellmore said. “For what it is worth, if you had not told me, I would have been so thoroughly convinced of the veracity of your falsehoods that I would be planning the wedding within the next few months.”
“Do you not think I might want a say in my own wedding?” Charlotte tried to sound as though she were joking, but it came out more pained than she intended.
“Of course, you will, but that is not on the cards, is it?” Lady Bellmore let her hand go and began to walk away.
“No. No it is not,” Charlotte murmured as the door swung shut behind her stepmother, and she was left alone.
She felt an odd sting of disappointment as she clambered into her bed and thought about the day. She had never intended to get married, in fact she had long ruled it out as a possibility. So why did the thought of remaining alone suddenly fill her with a pang of sadness?
And why could she not help but imagine just how handsome Dominic would look in tails, waiting at an altar before her?
“Clearly your mind is addled. You are just emotional, and it has been a long time since you were in the company of a man for such extended periods.” Charlotte nodded to herself. “There is nothing between us. There can be nothing between us. I want nothing between us.”
She repeated this over and over until sleep eventually claimed her. Her dreams were of walking through a forest, holding hands with someone she could not quite see. When she woke, the scent of juniper and pine was at the forefront of her mind.
Chapter Nineteen
OBSTACLES AND OBSTINANCE
Dominic woke with a start. His heart was racing. His sheets were damp with sweat, and his breathing felt heavy. He shook his head, willing his heart to stop whatever it was doing.
Not now. Not here. Not like this.With a shaking hand, he grabbed his drink by the nightstand and took a sip. His heart thundered around in his chest, tumbling over and over. He felt sick.
There was a knock at the door, and a moment later, Charlotte’s voice said, “Dominic? Dominic, are you decent? We are going to be late!”
“Just a moment!” Dominic tried to call back, but his voice would not obey him.
All he managed to produce was a strange gargling sound followed by a cough and a splutter. The door opened, and Charlotte appeared with Beatrice and Mr. Harris, Dominic’s valet, close behind her.
When Charlotte’s eyes fell on him, they widened in alarm, and a moment later, she was beside him. He tried to wave her away, to tell her that he was fine, but his heart was still thundering in his chest.
She surveyed him, and a moment later, she gripped his hand. “Dominic, look at me.”
He forced himself to look into her eyes, a wild, animalistic feeling clawing at his chest. He wanted to run. Something was wrong; he knew it.
“I need you to do exactly what I say, do you understand?” Charlotte’s voice seemed far away, but there was a strength to it that tugged at Dominic.
He nodded.
“Breathe in. No, not like that, slower. Breath to my count. One, two, three; yes that’s it, good.” Charlotte nodded encouragingly. “Now out: one, two, three, four.”
Dominic did as he was instructed, breathing in and out to Charlotte’s counting. His breathing calmed, and his heart began to slow. Charlotte surveyed him, still guiding his breathing.
“That should suffice,” Charlotte murmured. “How do you feel?”
“Better,” Dominic admitted, relief and embarrassment warring within him. “I am sorry you had to see that.”
“Think nothing of it.” Charlotte waved her free hand dismissively.
Silence spread out between them, and for a moment, Dominic knew Charlotte was going to ask him about what was happening to him.
