James’s expression softened, and he set down his own glass.
“You can do it,” he said gently. “You’re doing the right thing.”
“I really don’t know if I can.”
James swallowed. “What do you want to do? Call it off?”
“As if you wouldn’t have to call me out.”
“I’m serious,” James said. “As much as I think you should marry the girl, I don’t want to see either of you miserable. Despite what you may think, I care for both of you deeply.”
“Well, I’m not calling it off,” Nathan declared, shaking his head. “That would ruin Rosalie.”
“Well then…”
“I never wanted to marry, you know.” He glanced out the window at the lightening sky, his heart heavy. “It was supposed to be Ethan who married, fathered children… and me, I was supposed to be a poet.”
“I know,” his cousin murmured. “But you know, I didn’t want to marry either. Nor did I think Violet and I would ever see eye-to-eye, let alone fall in love. And look at us now! As in love as two people could be. Perhaps…”
The end of the sentence was left unsaid, but Nathan understood:Perhaps you and Rosalie will find love as well.
But he very much doubted it. The image of his bride came to him: her pale blonde hair, her wide green eyes, her thin, delicate frame. His stomach clenched painfully, and he gritted his teeth. She was so beautiful, so full of naive and romantic hope, given to her by novels. And what was he?
No Prince Charming. Just a beast.
“I am sorry, James,” Nathan said, leaning forward and clasping his cousin’s hands in his. “I’m sorry for how I have changed these past two years. I didn’t know it hurt you or that you even noticed.”
“I just want you to be happy,” James said carefully. “For yourself. And your future wife.”
“My future wife…” The words felt sour on his tongue.
“You can find happiness in your marriage,” James said gently, squeezing Nathan’s hands. “I know it. Even if you and Rosalie do not find love, you can find respect and joy. She is a good person, and so are you.”
“You don’t understand,” Nathan argued, shaking his head. “You don’t understand.”
“What don’t I understand?”
Nathan gave him a very serious look. “You’re right about me: I am a beast. And in a few short hours, I’m going to ruin this woman’s life.”
“The cucumber slices will help, Miss Rosalie!” her lady’s maid said, gesturing towards where they sat on her vanity in a small porcelain teacup. “My mama swore by them, and she was a woman who cried often.”
Clara, her lady’s maid, faltered as she said this and flushed.
She’s probably worried she shouldn’t have mentioned me crying, Rosalie thought dully. But she didn’t care; it was obvious to anyone who had seen her that she’d been crying.
“I don’t know,” she said uncertainly, looking at the thin slices of cucumber on the vanity. “I’m supposed to put them over my eyes?”
“That’s right. It makes the puffiness go down.” Clara gave her a forced smile. “And then you will look even more beautiful than you already do!”
Rosalie glanced in the mirror, unconvinced. Yes, she was wearing a beautiful gown—Violet had let her borrow her dress which the modiste had tailored at a high premium on such short notice to fit Rosalie, who was much thinner. And her hair had been done up beautifully. But she didn’t feel beautiful. Not with her eyes puffy from crying all night and with dark circles under them from her lack of sleep.
“Just think,” Clara said, “you’ll be a duchess later today. Isn’t that exciting?”
But it was evident from Clara’s tone that even she wasn’t convinced. Everyone who had been in the house the past week knew that Rosalie was looking forward to her wedding about as much as she was looking forward to her funeral.
And that’s what it felt like an hour later as she stood outside the doors that would lead her into the church and down the aisle. She’d foregone the cucumber slices, and her eyes were still red and puffy. Meanwhile, both Violet and Iris were wearing grim expressions on their faces. They tried to replace these with smiles whenever she looked at them, but they weren’t fooling anyone.
“Are you ready, my dear?” her cousin, Lord Carfield, asked as he came to stand next to her. He adjusted his cravat. “You look well,” he commented without looking at her, and this nearly made her smile.
