“Usually it is me who needs a break from the festivities.” Rodger squeezed his shoulder gently. “It is unlike you to lose your composure so.”
“I fear I have not been myself these past few days. But that is all ended now.” Luke ran a hand through his hair. “I have seen the truth of things. And I will put them right.”
“What do you mean?”
“You are a good man. You have always been and always will be, a good man.”
“As are you.”
“I am not. I am weak. But that does not matter now.”
“Brother, I-”
“I should not have tried to control your life so. I should have trusted you from the beginning.” “I have done to you what our parents did to me, and that was not fair. I have failed you.”
“You have not failed me, do not say such a thing.”
“I have, though you are kind to say I have not. To hold my approval above your head, to make you struggle to earn such a thing… That can only cause pain.”
“I know how important our family name is. I know the burden of running a duchy and the necessity that we leave a legacy to be proud of.”
“I have only ever wanted to be worthy of our name.”
“You are worthy of the name, you always have been.”
The smell of lavender floated to the front of his mind, and he remembered the feel of Emily’s lips against his. He grimaced and gave his brother a sad smile.
“I am trying to be.” He said. “Which is why I want to give you the freedom and trust you deserve.”
“You give me plenty of that. You have never forced me to do anything. I have only ever wanted to make you proud.”
“You do make me proud. And the thing that would make me most proud…” Luke swallowed, a wave of nausea and pain threatening to overwhelm him.
He pushed it violently away and continued, “You have my blessing to marry whomever you choose. You came to me a few days ago, asking for advice in matters of the heart. I take it that you are in love with…”
He could not bring himself to say her name, not as he saw Rodger’s face in the moonlight. The hope written across it.
“I am in love but…” Rodger looked away from him, and Luke guessed he was embarrassed.
We are not accustomed to being so open with one another.Luke tried to make his voice sound light, but firm. “There is no but. Marry the woman you love, that will make me proud. That is the best thing you can do for our family, for the duchy.”
Luke was not certain that Emily loved his brother, but surely in time she would? His brother was certainly in love, and excited by it too.What if she turns him down?
Shame threatened to overcome him at the hope he felt at the thought. Why would he want his brother to feel the sting of rejection?Let his love be enough.
“Do you mean it brother? You wish me to marry for love?” Rodger asked.
“I do.” Luke nodded, swallowing hard.
An unreadable expression crossed Rodger’s face. “You have given me a lot to think about.”
“It is a big decision, I would be worried if you did not take some time to consider it.” Luke sighed. “You should return to the ball. Enjoy the night.”
“And what about you?” he asked.
“I should prepare for our departure.” Luke gave his brother an affectionate pat on the shoulder. “I will see you in the morning, little brother.”
Rodger gave him a searching look. “Are you sure you are all right?”
