She wasn’t going to lie to her family about why she was leaving London or about how broken her heart was.
Still, she hadn’t expected for them all to show up, just two days later, and with all these presents in tow. It filled her with emotions she barely knew how to express as she listened to all of them laughing and fighting with one another while she ushered them into the parlor for tea. It was like being back home, before she’d come out, before the trouble with Lord Dubois, and before Dorian. Back when things were simpler.
“So, how are you doing?” Vivian asked her as they paused in the doorway, watching all the sisters settle into the parlor. Vivian spoke in a low voice, and her gaze was soft and sympathetic.
Leah swallowed, a lump suddenly rising in her throat. “I don’t know,” she said, so that only her friend could hear her. “Did my sisters tell you everything that happened?”
Vivian nodded. “And I’m very sorry to hear about it. I always felt that there was something about Nottington that he didn’t want people to know. It was as if the outside version of him--that is so conversational and charming, so rakish--was just a front for something else, for some deeper sadness that he was hiding away.”
“Why did you never say anything?” Leah asked, a little stunned.
Vivian sighed and shook her head. “It was just a feeling. I had no proof.”
“I think the worst part is that I feel that I could have avoided all of this if I had just been better at finding myself a husband.” The lump was back in Leah’s throat, and she felt her eyes stingwith tears as well. “This is all my fault, really. I am the sister of a duke! And I had an entire Season to find a husband. But no, I couldn’t, so by the time Lord Dubois came along, there were no options left to me. If I could have just learned how to have a conversation with a gentleman sooner, if I could have just had some confidence, then I might have avoided all of this.”
Vivian frowned at her. “You don’t really think that, do you?” she asked. “You cannot blame yourself for this. All of this is the doing of the men--first Lord Dubois, then your husband. None of this is your fault.”
“Yes but if I could have just been a normal young lady, capable of making conversation, it might have all been avoided.”
“Oh, Leah…” Vivian touched her arm, squeezing it gently and reassuringly. “You have to learn to accept yourself for who you are. You might not be the most talkative young lady. You might not know how to flirt. That might never be your strength. But you are so loved for whoyou are.Look at all these women who have come here today to cheer you up, to support you. We don’t love you because you have mastered the art of seduction or flirtation. We don’t care for you because you know how to charm the most eligible bachelors. We love you because you are a strong, caring person who will do anything for the people she loves. Andthatis the Leah I want to see. Not the Leah you tried to become to find a husband.”
“Was there something wrong with that side of me?” Leah asked nervously.
“No, of course,” Vivian said, and she smiled kindly. “I just mean… I loved you even before all that. And so did your sisters. So did Emery. And that person is worthy of love, even if the rest of thetoncouldn’t see it.”
“Dorian didn’t love that side of me,” Leah said softly.
Vivian raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Because it sounds to me as if that’s the real you he fell for.”
“Then why isn’t he here?” Leah murmured.
“Because he wasn’t strong enough for you.” She said it very simply, her hand tightening on Leah’s arm. “Now come on, let’s go in and talk to your sisters.”
She led Leah into the parlour, and they all sat down across from each other and began to hand Leah their gifts.
It was an assortment of things: books and little trinkets; an ivory lace fan; chocolates and little cakes; even a new bonnet from Emery. Beautiful little things that Leah didn’t need, but which made her feel loved. As she finished unwrapping the last present, from Eve--a lacquered pill box that was painted on the outside with a picture of nymphs frolicking by a river--she looked up at everyone, tears in her eyes. Her sisters and Vivian were all smiling at her, clearly delighted to see her so happy, and Leah felt a rush of love and contentment. It was immediately followed by a realization.
“Thank you so much,” she murmured, setting the lacquered box down on the table. “To all of you. It means the world to me that you would all come here when things have become so untenable with the Duke.” She glanced at Vivian, then took a deep breath. “And having you all here has made me realize that what I’ve been striving for--to fit in with theton, to be the perfect Society lady--is so much less important than tending to the friendships and relationships I already have. I can see now that having a small group of people who care about the real me, rather than trying to make myself into someone else in order to win over the entireton, is so much more precious. So thank you for teaching me.”
“Oh darling, you’re so welcome,” Emery said, reaching across the table and taking Leah’s hand. “We have never needed you to change anything about yourself or become the perfect Society lady. We have only ever wanted you to be yourself.”
“And we are much more interesting and fun than the rest of theton,” Eve said.
“And most importantly,” Celeste put in, “you will never lose us.”
All the ladies decided to stay the night, and it was a raucous dinner that evening. Afterward, Celeste played the piano while they danced with one another. Vivian paired with Leah, Emery with Eve, and they danced around the parlor.
Who needs men when I have these women?Leah thought to herself as she and Vivian twirled around the room. She’d never had so much fun dancing in her life.
Well. That wasn’t entirely true. With a jolt, she remembered dancing with Dorian in the kitchen of her brother’s house. That had been the most fun she’d ever had dancing. But as Vivian’s hand tightened on hers, she forced her thoughts away from Dorian and back to the moment at hand. Dorian was gone. But she had her friend and her sisters.
After a nightcap, they all went to bed. Celeste offered to sleep with Leah so that she wouldn’t be alone, and so, for the first time in years, she shared a bed with one of her sisters. It was much better than sharing a bed with a husband, she decided, after she and Celeste couldn’t stop giggling for a good half hour.
But of course, life called them back home, and a few days later, they all had to head back to London.
“Why don’t you come with us?” Celeste asked as she stood outside of the carriage that was set to bear her, Eve, and Emery back to London. “You could stay with us--you wouldn’t need to go back to your husband’s house.”
Leah had thought about it, but she shook her head. “I want a little longer here to get used to this new life,” she said. “And I don’t want to feel the pressures of Society again. I’d like to figure out what I want out of my life, now that I have to live it solely for myself.”
