With a look of reverence on her face, she flipped open the lid of the box.
“Oh my goodness,” she murmured. “It’s beautiful.”
She reached into the box and drew out a gold locket. It was large and chunky and very heavy, made from solid gold, and on the front of it a ruby had been encrusted. This ruby winked in the candlelight, and her eyes sparkled as well.
“This was truly your mother’s?” she asked, looking up at Winston with wide eyes.
“Yes,” he murmured. “She kept portraits of both myself and Clementine in it, and she would wear it every day to remind herself what was worth staying alive for. After she died, she gave it to Clementine, but thankfully, Clementine was not wearing it when she jumped. I was not able to get many of her things returned to me from Egerton, but this was one I insisted upon.”
Vanessa opened the locket and gazed down into the inside. When she looked back up at him, there were tears in her eyes.
“Your portrait is still in here,” she murmured. “Is that what you looked like as a child?”
“I suppose so,” Winston said with a smile.
“But the other side… It’s just paper .” She touched it absentmindedly. “Did Clementine take her own portrait out?”
“I believe so. I think she kept me in there to remind herself that I was worth staying alive for. But she clearly must not have believed her own life was worth it. That, at least, is why I think she removed it.”
Vanessa nodded slowly, and Winston felt a twinge of guilt.
“Is it too macabre?” he asked. “You do not have to wear it.”
“No, I love it,” she said at once, closing the locket and pressing it to her chest. “Thank you, Winston. It means a great deal to me that you would give this to me.”
“You are welcome,” he said, unable to form any more articulate words. The emotion in his chest was too powerful.
“Would you help me put it on?” she asked, holding out the chain to him.
“Of course.”
He took the locket from her, and she turned around. Her hair was still up from the party, so he was able to easily put the chain around her neck and fit the clasp together. As he did, his fingers grazed against the back of her neck. She trembled at his touch, and he felt his mouth go dry. The back of her neck was so elegant, and a few curls of her brown hair had come loose. Hewanted nothing more than to run his fingers through them then place his hand against her skin and run it down her back.
Slowly, he let his fingers touch the back of her neck. With his other hand, he touched her shoulder, turning her around to face him. He kept the other hand on her skin, so that when she turned, his fingers circled around to the front of her neck, coming to rest in the little dip at the bottom of her throat.
His eyes flickered to hers. She was staring straight at him, unblinking. Heat was radiating from her, and the blazing look in her eyes was back.
“Kiss me,” she whispered. “Please.”
He was powerless to resist. Circling his hand around her neck, he pulled her close, and then he lowered his lips to hers. This time, there was nothing gentle about their kiss. It was full of fire, of passionate intensity, and Winston felt as if he could have lost himself in it. This was all that mattered—kissing her, loving her, protecting her—making her feel like she was the most important woman in the world. Which of course, she was.
His hand closed around the back of the locket’s chain, and suddenly, he froze.
Clementine. She was also the most important woman in the world to me. And yet, because of my negligence, because of my weakness, she died.
“What is wrong?” he heard Vanessa murmur, and he broke away from her, wrenching out of her grasp and taking several steps back. Her hands dropped to her side, and she stared at him, looking confused and a little hurt. “What happened?” she asked. “Is it something I did?”
“N-no,” Winston stammered. “I just cannot… I am not ready.” His heart was racing—so fast that he was afraid he might pass out. Breathing was becoming difficult, and he felt the room spin in front of him.
I cannot lose Vanessa as well. I cannot fail her as well.
“Please, leave me,” he gasped, turning away from her as the panic filled him. “Please, I beg of you.”
“Winston—”
“Go!”
He had promised not to order her away again, and he closed his eyes in horror as he realized he had done it again. But this time, she did not argue. Without another word, she turned and left the room, letting the door close sharply behind her. In that sound, he could feel her disappointment in him.
