Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Boric’s cousin spit on the ground.
‘When I went to Captain Atlas to tell him she cheated, he got angry.I told him I would do something about her if he didn’t.’
I snorted, remembering how his head was in the dirt and under my boot in minutes because he was useless with a sword, not because I cheated.
‘Fuck Captain Atlas.He didn’t do shit about Captain Torgrin, who cut off Boric’s head for nothing!’the stocky man shrieked.
A muscle twitched in the corner of my eye and I laughed at the absurd man.‘Boric lost his head because he was a poor loser and a dishonourable coward.’
Boric’s cousin barely reached my shoulder, so it caught me by surprise when his fist came flying at me before I could duck.Blood dripped from my split lip.
He snarled at me when I laughed again.The man with the sword pressed the tip harder into my breast.Above us, the sky was brightening with the coming dawn, and I was getting a clearer view of the three men surrounding me.
The numbness that had been with me for days was fading, and a dangerous feeling was settling inside my hollow chest.No longer laughing, I leaned into the man, his sword digging into my tender flesh.‘Remove your sword from me, or I will kill you.’
‘You don’t have a weapon, so how will you do that?’He smirked at me.He was a good-looking man, but his eyes were hard and mean.
I allowed myself to feel it now.The rolling Darkness that I had been holding back for days.I hadn’t grieved for Iain, too afraid to let it out like I had when Olaf had died.But now I wanted it to damage, destroy, kill.
‘I don’t need a weapon,’ I told him.‘Last chance.’As I spoke, he pressed the sharp point into the soft tissue of my breast, drawing blood.I sucked air between my teeth.You are going to regret that.
Harnessing the Darkness was easier than I imagined it to be.Like it had been the moment I saw the barrels racing towards Hilda and Sophie in Murus, the power was waiting for me.
I placed my hands on either side of the blade near my chest as if I were about to pray.The steel turned black under my palms, then the sword was gone.The confusion on the man’s face as his sword vanished before his eyes was almost comical.He raised his empty hand, and his handsome face filled with horror.The tips of his fingers had blackened, just as his sword had.
He cried out like an animal caught in a trap as his hand disintegrated to ash, and screamed as it continued up his arm and shoulder.
Boric’s cousin and the other man came closer to watch their friend’s slow death.They were so distracted by the horror unfolding before them, that they didn’t see me dive for my sword.
The screaming stopped once the Darkness had spread to the handsome man’s head.
My sword slashed across Boric’s cousin’s middle before he could even raise his sword.His intestines spilled onto his feet in a steaming puddle.I spun to face the third man, who stood transfixed by the gruesome demise of his companions.His wide eyes met mine for a split second before he turned and darted into the trees.
Dead tree branches scratched my face as I entered an ancient thicket.I’d lost sight of him, but he wouldn’t get far.The dying trees and shrubs were far too dense.I raised my sword and listened, waiting for him to move.It was quiet, but I heard it.Directly behind me – a footstep on withered leaves.I lifted my feet and sidestepped the sword coming down on me.I didn’t hesitate to strike while the man was still bent over, having only hit the air where I had been standing a moment before.My blade connected, taking his head cleanly off.Warm blood sprayed me as his neck was exposed to the chilly morning air.His body dropped to the ground with a horrifying thump.
I walked back to my camp covered in blood.The stark morning light showed me the remains of my other two attackers.One was a pile of ash, while Boric’s cousin still lay where I left him.He was trying to gather up his belly’s contents to push back into his abdomen.
Fighting the horror building inside me, I struggled to look at the gory scene I had created.Guilt, not anger, made me hold the man’s gaze as I put my sword through his heart, giving him a quicker death than if I had just left him there.I threw up the contents of my stomach beside the men I’d killed.Nightmare had freed herself, and I felt her warm muzzle against my head as I kept retching long after my insides were empty.
†
Ignoring the stares as I rode through Murus, I passed the forge without Cillian seeing me, but I could hear the clash of swords as I entered the fortress gates and knew I was out of luck.As I approached the soldiers on guard, their wide-eyed gazes and half-opened mouths told me that my grim, blood-splattered appearance had caught their attention.
Entering the arena, I passed a few soldiers training with swords and shields before they stopped and stared at me.I was still sitting on Nightmare’s back, unsure my legs could hold me if I dismounted.What I had done had depleted me.Between my lack of sleep and empty stomach, I was barely holding on to the reins.
Atlas approached me first, stopping beside Nightmare’s shoulder.‘What happened to you?’he asked, a frown marring his usually jovial face.
I looked to my other side when I felt a large, warm hand on my thigh.Torgrin was looking up at me, the lines between his brows deepening.I stared back, not able to find any words to explain my gruesome appearance.He reached his arms up to help me down.I let him only because I wasn’t sure I could dismount alone.When he tried to draw me into an embrace, I pushed him away weakly.The pile of ash I had left on the road was too fresh in my memory.
The sky had been clear, but now it was drizzling as we stood silently in the courtyard together.I almost forgot what rain felt like.It had been months since it had rained last.A bloody puddle formed at my feet as the rain washed away my crimes.
Without a word, Atlas walked Nightmare to the stables.Torgrin stayed by my side as I shuffled towards the fortress entrance.
‘Can you tell Lord Warwick I’m back?’It was an effort to get the words out.
‘Where have you been?’Torgrin demanded as the rain continued to pour down on us.Inky strands of hair fell across his scarred cheek.
‘Just tell him.’
