‘No.Not until you tell me whose blood is all over you!’He halted my progress with a hand on my arm.
‘Don’t touch me!’I yelled, a flash of lightning following my words.
Torgrin dropped his hand immediately.He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes as thunder rumbled outside.
‘Damn it, woman!Why can’t you just –’ Torgrin stopped mid-growl as Lord Warwick came rushing down the stairs.He must have seen me through the window that faced the training arena.
I spoke to him, ignoring Torgrin, who clenched his jaw so hard I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear a tooth crack.‘I’m back, my lord.’
‘Are you well?’he asked, concerned.
I nodded yes, a lie.
‘You’re not,’ Torgrin growled, still struggling to control himself.‘You leave for days without telling me or Atlas where you’re going, then you come back looking like you just climbed out of the fucking underworld!’
He brought his face so close to mine that I saw lightning reflected in the blackness of his pupils.I turned away from him, trying hard to stay in control.
‘I think you should leave this for another time, Torgrin,’ Lord Warwick said quietly.
‘She can’t just leave without telling us why!’
Torgrin must be beyond reason if he would speak to Lord Warwick with such little care of the consequences.He was the man who paid his wages, after all.
‘She toldme,’ Lord Warwick said firmly.‘Now let her leave,’ he ordered Torgrin.
Torgrin shot me a hurt look just before he moved out of my way.I could feel his gaze as I headed to my room on unsteady legs.
CHAPTER 16
Istood in the dimly lit room, the weight of my grief settling in my heart like a heavy fog.The familiar scent of trees mingled with the stillness of the air.This was my home now.
I must have left the door ajar as servant after servant came into my room with jugs of heated water.Had I been standing here that long?They emptied the last jug of water just as Meg arrived with her bag of bandages and medicines.She helped me undress without a single question, for which I was grateful.After removing all the blood that wasn’t mine, there wasn’t much to tend to.Just a few scratches on my face, a stinging wound over my right breast, and slight swelling on my lip.Meg helped to wash my hair, which had become matted with dried blood.The water was rust red by the time she finished, but at least I was clean.She helped me into bed and ordered the servants to come empty the bathtub.
Soon, I was alone, and the tears came.The sound of rain against the window eased as I fell into a restless sleep.
The woman with hair as black as shadow flittered through my dreams.I tried to reach for her, but she was made of ash, not flesh.I looked at my empty hands to see they were dripping with blood.
†
It was almost nightfall when Torgrin came for the first time.I had locked the door, sensing he and Atlas would come.I ignored the knocking and his pleas for me to talk to him.
The following day, it was Atlas offering me food.When I didn’t answer, he left a plate at the door.I wasn’t hungry.
I wasn’t anything.
I woke to hear Torgrin apologising through the door for losing his temper.‘Just eat something, and I’ll leave you be,’ he begged.
I ignored him and the food.
I slept so I did not have to feel.Another day passed by.Or was it two?Time wasn’t important anymore.
Then, a fresh voice was at the door.Warm like honey.
I sat up and strained my ears.He said my name again, and a flicker of emotion ignited inside my numb heart.I unlocked the chamber door.
Big arms engulfed me, and I buried my face into Cillian’s chest.‘They told me you were unwell,’ he said quietly.
‘I’m not.’I rubbed my cheek against his shoulder.His clothes smelled like the forge: fire and iron.I breathed deeply, trying to absorb Cillian’s warmth.
