Hellfire, this was all about me.
CHAPTER 20
Today, my eyes fell on a woman who was easily six feet tall, maybe more.It wasn’t just her height that caught my attention – it was the way she carried it, like it belonged to her, like the world was built too small and she refused to shrink for it.
She didn’t chatter or shuffle around impatiently like the others gathered.She stood her ground with an air of confidence that made me smile.She was eyeing my soldiers lined up in formation as if she were searching for someone.The upward tilt of her chin could give the impression she was arrogant, but I’d be willing to bet it was tenacity.Long golden strands of hair escaped the metal clip she used to keep it back.Her face could have been that of a goddess.A dusting of freckles over a slightly up-tilted nose did not temper it.Wide grey eyes and lips so opulent they made me shift in my saddle.
Atlas saw her, too, so I had not succumbed to some mad delusion.I felt something shift inside me, and I could tell from his sudden upright posture that he felt it too.
Ever since that night, when I pushed her into the red waters of that raging river, Atlas and I have dreamed of her.First, we dreamed of a knight carrying her from the river on a large grey stallion.We had never shareddreams before her.Sometimes, I would dream of her every night for a week, and then it would be years before I dreamed of her again.The dreams always showed her getting older.I dreamed of the first day she picked up a blacksmith’s hammer and created her first blade.Atlas dreamed of her riding a young black mare she called Nightmare.
When I removed my helmet, I allowed myself to meet her eyes.Her melancholy grey eyes widened slightly, and her lips parted on a sudden inhale of breath.She recognised us.
†
Having two hundred and fifty-nine men at my disposal, as well as several thankful vendors and suppliers who help feed and clothe those men, means it didn’t take me long to get the information I needed.
She has been in Murus for a month.It frustrates me that her name is yet unknown to me.She has been working and living with the blacksmith, but the woman seems to have no other friends or contacts in the city.
†
Atlas has taken to going for morning rides past the blacksmith’s forge.He is just as curious about her as I am.He has always believed the gods and reincarnation are real.He believes our dreams are the fates keeping us linked so we can find each other in every life.
The tournament is in a few weeks, and I suggested to Lord Warwick that he should have a ceremonial sword made by a local craftsperson.He liked the idea, and now I have an excuse to see her.
†
I learned her name today.
Caris.
She was unfriendly towards me when I searched her out in the blacksmith’s shop.She is suspicious of my motives, and I’m probably a reminder of anight she wished she could forget.Her voice is as it was as a girl, soft but husky.I cannot deny the way I respond to her.I never allow my body to desire a woman without my mind first permitting it.Still, Caris has evoked feelings in me, even as a boy who dreamed of a headstrong girl.I didn’t understand those feelings as a boy, but I do now.
She pulled at her leather gloves as we discussed her sword-making skills.They must cover the scars given to her by the blade that killed her mother.I remember wrapping her bleeding hands with strips of fabric ripped from my only shirt at the river that night.What happened there created a bond I don’t truly understand.
I try not to think about her relationship with the blacksmith.He was singing her praises before she appeared in the shop beside him.The man is lovestruck, but I could not get a read on how strong her feelings are for him.
Her sword-making skills are beyond anything I’ve ever seen.I paid her ten times the average price for the sword I commissioned for Lord Warwick, and I know it will be worth every coin.
†
Today, my most trusted soldier reported that he had seen Caris turning two out-of-control barrels to ash to save a mother and child.It seems this woman can do more than haunt a man’s dreams for years.I swore Tomas to secrecy.
Atlas believes she is the goddess Hecate reborn.
I don’t know what she is.
†
She almost died today.Everything inside me spun into chaos when I lifted the helmet to see her grey eyes staring defiantly back at me.She defeated our most experienced archer and our finest swordsman.Caris is a highly skilled fighter.Her mentor clearly trained her very well … but she is exceptional because she loves the fight.
Boric came for her after she defeated him, the honourless brute.Fear for her life coursed through my blood when I realised what he was going to do.He cut her face with that mace, so I cut off his fucking head.
I took her in my arms and would not let her go.Atlas was close by, the same fear pumping through his veins.We could have lost her.
She has broken ribs, and her flawless face will scar, but she lived, and that is all that matters to us.
I ordered her to be placed in my room and sent Meg to tend to her injuries.When I was sure she was taken care of, I searched out Atlas to debrief the day’s events and what they would mean for the days to come.
