Bethel was, for once, not hiding and eating in her tent.She came to join the excited group gathered for the evening meal.I observed her across the fire, sitting and chatting to Torgrin as if they hadn’t been at each other’s throats all week.It annoyed me how familiar they were in each other’s company.I thought about what Torgrin had admitted in his journal.He had imagined my thighs squeezing his head, not hers.He had wanted the room filled with my moans, not hers.He had written that thinking of me had made him hard.
I tightly gripped Cillian’s hand, feeling the warmth and strength in his large palm, and led him into the dense canopy of trees.
‘What’s going on?’Cillian asked in confusion.
When the voices from the camp became distant and muffled, and the only light was from the flickering of fire appearing between the trees, I pressed my body against Cillian’s and kissed him.
‘Oh,’ was all he said before he took over and walked me backwards until I was pressed against a tree.
His kisses were as passionate and frantic as mine.I reached for the bulge in his breeches and undid the ties to free him.Cilliangroaned into my hair as I took him in my hand and stroked him like I had watched him do to himself.
He lifted my shirt and sucked my nipples almost painfully, making me pant harder.His hand found the ties of my leggings, and when he had them undone, his fingers began to circle that sensitive throbbing spot between my legs.Arching my back, I fell into the abyss within seconds.Cillian covered my mouth to muffle my cries.
‘Damn, woman, that was quick,’ he said, chuckling softly.
I continued to stroke him, feeling him getting harder and hotter in my hand.Cillian kissed me slowly while keeping his hands in my breeches.He pushed a finger into me, igniting my desire once again.Soon, he had two fingers inside me, and then three, stretching me until I was whimpering.His digits twisted in and out of me, bringing me closer to the edge.I knew he was close, too, as he thrust faster against my hand.His fingers worked in tempo with his hips as if he was imagining he was inside me, and we came together, muffling our cries with our joined mouths.
With languid bodies and secretive smiles, we returned to camp.I noticed that Bethel and Torgrin were no longer sitting by the fire.I ate my venison as the glow of Cillian’s lovemaking eased.Soon, I took myself to bed despite the babble of voices surrounding me.
Using the limited light from the fire, I read more of Torgrin’s journal.
†
She’s gone.She left without a word.
†
She’s been gone four days.I’m going mad.
†
Six days.
†
Fuck.What if she doesn’t come back?
†
When she rode through the gates, I was relieved and terrified.Blood was drying in her hair and staining her clothes.A current of energy ran through my body under the gathering clouds.I needed to gain control of myself, but all I could think was: that blood better not be hers.
She was unapologetic as I yelled at her, all of my fear and insecurities spilling out as rain pounded the roof above us and lightning flashed outside the fortress.She left me standing there with no answers.
Lord Warwick finally took pity on me and told me that the man who had raised Caris these past ten years had died.But that did not explain why she arrived at the fortress coated from head to toe in blood.
I called for water to be heated and taken to her room and sent Meg to verify that Caris was unharmed beneath all that gore.
†
I know whose blood she was wearing.The patrol reported they came across two bodies and burned remains on the road to Murus.They found one body decapitated, the other disembowelled.An officer identified one man as Drake, a soldier Atlas and I deemed too dangerous to remain after I killed his cousin, Boric.
I wanted every soldier under my command to be aware that Drake and Boric died because they tried to harm Caris.I ordered my men to go back and dig up the corpses.They are unworthy of the underworld – theywill be in the guts of carrion eaters by nightfall.By morning, they will be nothing more than piles of shit for the flies.
†
She’s not eating.Caris hasn’t left her room since she returned.Atlas is concerned too.We have both tried to talk to her through that damned locked door, but all we get is silence.I could break the door down, but I know it is comfort she needs, and she doesn’t want it from us.
†
