Except that would be tantamount to telling him that she’d like a relationship with him.
And she wasn’t sure that was true, because after a lifetime of being second-place in her parents’ affections shereallywasn’t going to do that in a romantic relationship, and she’d always feel second best to his late wife. It was a recipe for getting hurt.
She couldn’t do it.
24
POPPY
Poppy took a banana from her lovely well-stocked fruit bowl. Six weeks ago her mid-afternoon snack had been Hula Hoops and a Tunnock’s Caramel. Maybe followed by a slice of cold pizza if there was any left from the evening before. It was amazing how fast you could get into a downward spiral and how hard, basically impossible, it could be to get yourself out of it without help from someone else.
Now she was sleeping and eating properly and, crucially, back at work one day a week and speaking regularly toadults, and she wasso much happier.
Thank heavens for her friends. Ankita and Beth had been amazing recently. But so had Georgie. Ankita wouldn’t have turned up in the first place if Georgie hadn’t asked her to.
Poppy really missed Georgie.
Losing Declan was like losing her heart. And losing Georgie was like losing one of her limbs.
It was really weird, though, it was like she didn’t know whether she could repair their relationship, even though she knew that Georgie had acted with the best of intentions.
It was almost like right now she only had the bandwidth to focus on trying to re-establish some kind of relationship with Declan. He had to come first because he was Daniel’s father and her husband.
She’d been thinking about secrets and lies a lot. It wasn’t as black and white as she’d been thinking. Declanshouldn’thave gone behind her back to speak to Anya like that, but hehadbeen doing it with the best of intentions. He hadn’t wanted to upset Poppy if he didn’t have to. Which had clearly spectacularly backfired but the saying ‘it was the thought that counted’ wasn’t wrong. What might she, Poppy, have done if she’d been in his position?
She finished her banana, put the skin in the bin and took an apple. She was really looking forward to seeing Declan later when he came to help her do Daniel’s bath and bedtime. And on reflection, she’d immediately felt when she met him that there was something different about him compared to anyone else she’d ever met. And if he’d felt the same way and wanting to wait before they had sex was one of his ways of expressing that, then… maybe it should be flattering rather than hurtful.
Maybe she should ask him if he’d like to go out for dinner. Almost… like a date.
Yep. She was going to do it. She was going to send a message right now. Maybe they could go out tonight. One of the neighbours would be happy to babysit, she was sure.
It was really annoying to have apple juice all over her hands because she wanted to text him immediately.
Okay, hands washed, message sent.
Waiting for his response she actually felt quite jittery.
Obviously, a watched phone never pinged.
Eventually, though, he did reply.
I’d really love to but could we speak later about which evening – could you do next Saturday instead?
While Poppy was standing looking at her phone, wondering what he was doing this evening, he sent another message.
I could also do tomorrow, Monday, Tuesday or Thursday if any of those would work for you?
Hmm. He did sound keen at least. And she’d been the one to ask him to move out. So if he had plans for tonight that wasentirelyhis prerogative. She sent a reply.
Tomorrow would be great.
Eek. Now she couldn’t decide whether she was more excited or nervous.
When Declan stepped inside the front door that evening, his smile – hesitant, hopeful,gorgeous– made something inside her click.
She loved him. He’d hurt her – a lot – but she still did, she loved him so much. And his smile told her that hedidcare. She was sure that he hadn’t intended to hurt her.
Declan opened his mouth to say something, but was distracted by Daniel toddling down the hall to him, his arms stretched towards him.
