‘Thatishuge. You sound like an amazing dad.’
‘Thank you,’ he says again. He opens his mouth and then closes it.
‘What?’ I say. And then: ‘No, you don’t need to tell me. Sorry.’
‘No, no, it’s just Iwasgoing to say something and then I thought better of it in case it sounded very manipulative. I mean it was true, what I was going to say, but maybe it would sound as though I was saying it on purpose.’
Callum isneverthis uncertain. It’s weird. Also cute.
‘Just say it,’ I say. ‘If you want to? And I will bear in mind that you are not being manipulative?’
‘I mean, basically I was just going to say that Inevertalk about this stuff. With anyone. But I wanted to tell you.’
He’s right; it could have sounded manipulative. But it doesn’t. And I feel that I’ve just received something very precious. Even when we were together when we were young he didn’t talk about his parents much.
‘Thank you,’ I say for the umpteenth time.
‘No, thankyou.’
We sit there for a long time, just kind of looking at each other, and then the café owner places Callum’s coffee in front of him and says, ‘So sorry it took so long.’
‘Not at all, thank you.’ He glances at the woman for a second and flashes her a smile and then switches his gaze back to me, as though he can’t bear to look away for too long.
We resume the mutual gazing. I don’t know what to say now and maybe Callum feels the same way.
‘Cake?’ I say eventually.
‘Sorry?’
‘I wondered if you thought it would be nice to get some cake.’
‘Oh, yes. Absolutely. Cake would be great.’
‘Good. What kind?’
‘Whatever you like? Unless we aren’t sharing?’
‘I’m easy either way.’
‘Me too.’
‘What’s yourfavouritecake?’ I ask.
‘Not a big cake eater.’
‘You could get a different snack? Or nothing? We could have no cake?’
‘Honestly, whatever you prefer.’
I begin to snigger. ‘This is a ridiculous conversation.’
‘Yeah, too polite,’ Callum agrees.
‘Yes.’
‘And a little awkward too.’
‘Yes.’
