‘Hey. Tommmm,’ he says. I do not like his smirk. ‘I’m guessing you’re Nadia’s brother.’
‘Brother!’ I feign exaggerated horror. ‘Do Ilooklike her brother?’
‘Housemate?’ Sammy asks, his eyes going between the two of us like he’s watching a table tennis match. ‘University friend?’
‘Nope,’ I say. ‘We’re…’ I look at Nadia, smile fondly in her direction, and then let my smile drop as I return my gaze to Sammy. ‘It’s early days. We don’t want to label things yet.’
I don’t know where that sentence came from but I’m pretty proud of myself.
I think Nadia’s impressed by my innovation too, because she grins at me before saying soulfully to Sammy, ‘That’s right. Early days.’
‘Early days of what?’
I do not appreciate his scoff. I’dliketo swear at him, but these are Nadia’s work drinks and I’m here to make her life better, not worse, so I say, ‘Of our relationship?’ like he’s really stupid. And then I put my arm round Nadia’s shoulders and she puts her arm round my waist, and I smile soppily down at her while keeping an eye on Sammy in my periphery, and say, ‘Shall we go and find some food?’
‘Good idea.’
‘Great to meet you, Sammy,’ I say and draw Nadia away from him.
‘OMG,’ she whispers as we go. ‘That wasperfect. He’s such asnake.’
‘He really bloody is,’ I agree.
We wander over to a corner before removing our arms from each other so we can grab some of the many canapés being circulated on platters.
They look delicious.
They do not taste delicious.
‘You weren’t wrong about the food,’ I tell Nadia after I swallow a strange gelatinous thing as quickly as I can.
She nods and points at her mouth and chews a lot.
‘You have to swallow,’ I tell her.
‘Can’t.’
I look round and grab a couple of napkins from a table to my right.
‘Thank you,’ she says, having discreetly removed the chewy thing and then hidden her napkin-wrapped mouthful under some cutlery on an unused plate on the same table. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking.Nevereat anything at these events. Michael uses the same outside caterer every time, and anyone with any common sense learns their lesson the first time.’
‘Easily forgotten when you’ve just had a run-in with Sammy.’ I take a large sip of the glass of wine a waiter just handed to me, and then grimace. ‘Whoa. That’s a cross between Marmite and vinegar.’
‘Whoops, sorry. I should have mentioned: only drink water at these events. And always have a big sandwich beforehand. I can’t believe I forgot about that. What if we leave here in the next half hour and I buy you dinner to thank you for your truly awe-inspiring acting for Sammy?’
As I’m about to say that would be great but she isn’t paying, and suggest grabbing us both some water now – I really need to clear the horrible taste in my mouth and I imagine Nadia does too – I’m interrupted by Nadia’s friend Marisa, who I was introduced to as soon as we arrived.
‘I hope you’re enjoying the delicious food and wine, Tom,’ she says.
‘I’ve sampled it and I was awestruck,’ I reply.
Marisa (who is dressed as Jessica Rabbit) spares a moment to smile, before continuing with, ‘So what do you do? Workwise?’
‘I’m a teacher.’
‘And you and Nadia met at Waterloo on Saturday evening?’
‘Yep.’
