“You know what … room service will take too long. I’m just going to ask the guests next door for a taste.”
Blocking his path to the door, I cupped his face. “We’re not going to beg a stranger for liquor. We don’t need alcohol to unwind. All we need is each other.” Brushing his cheek, I redirected. “Look at me. It’s going to be alright. Right?”
Aldridge’s eyes settled on me and it was like being transported into the heart of a storm. Whatever was going on ran far deeper than his backstabbing dad. He pushed out a long sigh. “Yeah, of course. No drinks.” Aldi stepped away from me, pacing back and forth, scratching his head. “I need to make a call.” He swiped his phone from the table and headed to the bathroom, closing the door in my face.
My heart dried up in my chest and there was a pulsating behind my eyes that would most likely turn into a headache. I didn’t like feeling helpless. I’d give anything for the ability to reverse time and make this all go away. At the end of the day, our parents were just like us trying to figure this life shit out. They didn’t have all the answers, they no longer had the power to heal boo boos, they were flawed individuals like everyone else. Aldridge deserved peace, and even two thousand miles of space between him and his parents couldn’t provide him with solace. I had a mind to call Lamonte and read him for filth my damn self. You knock-kneed, bad built, ashy elbow having, two pack a day smoker smelling, pinky toe missing, sloppy ass drunk.
Outside the bathroom door, I sat anxiously like a loyal puppy. Part of me wanted to ensure Aldi was okay and the other part of me wanted to know who he called. I mean I was right here, who did he need to contact? Why wasn’t I enough? I pushed the thoughts from my brain because they were selfish, and this wasn’t about me right now. The sound of water running gave me the courage to knock.
“Yeah?” His voice sounded distant behind the other side of the door.
“Can I come in?”
There was a long pause. He cleared his throat and said, “Uhm … sure. Opening the door, I found Aldridge in the shower fully clothed. I placed my hand on the cold glass kind of like you see couples do when one is in prison. Aldridge pressed his hand to mine.
“Baby, can you come out and talk to me?” I kicked off my shoes prepared to join him if he objected. He turned off the water and opened the shower door, walking out dripping wet and cold. I slid my hand over his rib cage. “Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.” Pulling his shirt over his head I tossed it to the floor. “I don’t have the right words … I know that. But youshould know your feelings are valid and I just want to be here for you.” I stripped him of his slides and sweatpants. My hands trembling the entire time, I’d never seen him like this.
In college his father did some fucked up shit including sending his mother to the hospital, and each call or text he just ate it. Pushing his emotions down. I told him it wasn’t healthy, but I guess at that moment his feelings were the only thing he could control. So, he made jokes or deflected to cover up how deeply he was hurt. Grabbing towels from the rack, I shook one out draping it over his shoulders.
Aldridge stalled my hands, capturing them in his. “Danessa, I have to tell you something.”
“What?” I surveyed his face hoping to gain clues.
His eyes were bloodshot, and he was shivering from the cold water. “I’m an addict.”
My head reared back, caught off guard by his words. I don’t know what I expected him to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. “Excuse me … what?”
“I’ve been sober for almost two years. But at the end of the day, I’m an addict.”
My gaze was clouded as if a deep fog just rolled in shrouding the bathroom in a haze. “You’re an alcoholic?” That tracked he never drank when we went out. The minibars were only ever stocked with juice and sodas, much like the minibar here.
“No, I mean alcohol wasn’t really my vice. Don’t get me wrong, I was often drunk when I was high?”
“High?” My voice cracked.
“Yeah cocaine, heroin, pills. I may have tried meth once.”
A nervous chuckle spilled from my mouth as I made my way to the other side of the bathroom. What the fuck? He wasn’t making any sense. This didn’t make any sense. Sure, we partied in college, but nothing hardcore. Just teenage experimental stuff. “I don’t understand, you’re an athlete.”
“Athletes can be the worst offenders when it comes to drugs.”
Yeah, that was stupid. I knew that, no one was immune. “How long has this been going on?” My mind recalled all the time we’d spent together. I didn’t see any of the signs. Granted, I didn’t honestly know what the signs looked like, but if Aldridge had been high any of those times, I would’ve known. Right? “Are you getting high regularly?”
“There was a time when I couldn’t go a day without it. My addiction started my second season in the league. I was young, partying, making up for lost time. All these people wanted my attention. I was famous and rich. It was harmless at first, pop a pill at a club chase it with a drink. The shit just took the fucking edge off. Evened me out.”
“And then?”
“And then I was doing lines in the bathroom. Before long I had my own dealer who made house visits. I could get high whenever I wanted so that’s exactly what I did.”
I stared at him with my arms pinned across my chest and my mouth hanging open.
Aldridge squinted, examining my tense facial features. “Shit, you’re judging me.”
“No. But this is a lot of new information, Aldridge. You don’t think this is a lot?” My mother was right. I was a judgmental bitch. I’d been that way my whole life. If I didn’t agree or understand something, I condemned it. The hardest drugs I’d ever done was edible weed in college. Cocaine, heroin, fucking meth, I felt painfully out of my depth. What’s the correct way to respond to news like this?
“I get that. But honestly if I didn’t tell you, I’d probably do something stupid tonight. It’s who I am. You need to know if we’re going to do this … you need to know.”
“I love who you are Aldi. I do. I’m just trying to wrap my head around this.”
