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“Until Lucian and Dev?” Terrie asked. “It’s different when you’re with someone you love, Tally. ”
Tally swallowed before licking her lips nervously. Yes, it was different when you loved, when you felt loved. For all their dominance and rough play the night before Tally had felt the difference in Lucian and Dev.
“Everyone I’ve ever loved has been horrified by me. ” She tried to smile as though unconcerned, but she felt the warning tremble of her lips. “The sisters told my parents about catching me with what’s-his-name. ” She frowned, trying to remember the boy’s name and couldn’t. It didn’t matter, she remembered the event well enough. “They still remind me of their shame at being called into Sister Redempta’s office and being informed that I was caught allowing some nasty little boy,” she affected the sister’s tone, “to put his mouth in my private places and daring to beg him to do other disgusting things to me. ”
The truth was, she had been begging him to push his finger deeper up her ass as his tongue whipped at her clit. Damn, she had been close when that evil old bat had thrown the door open to the gardener’s shed and interrupted them.
“You parents are prudes, Tally. You’ve always admitted that,” Terrie said softly. “How did that break you?”
“Because, they allowed the sisters at the academy to punish me as they pleased. ”
She shook her head. The whippings had been the worst, the lectures, the silence from the other girls because they were forbidden to talk to her. She had endured nearly a year of it before she was able to leave.
Looking back now, Tally realized that her defeat had begun long before that day. Slowly, insidiously, the academy had wreaked havoc on her growing sensibilities; turning her into the mocking, cold-hearted bitch others accused her of being.
It wouldn’t have been such a terrible thing if she hadn’t already been uncertain of her emerging sexuality. The need for stronger sensations, that edge of pain and extreme sex that had been growing within her, was frightening in itself. Sister Redempta’s harsh, derogatory lectures had only made it worse.
“Tally. ” Terrie sighed deeply. “You always feel so strongly about things, and fight so hard to hide it, to appear uncaring, cool and aloof. It was bound to catch up with you someday. You’ve denied the very heart of who you are because you were afraid those you loved would look down on you for it, shame you for it. Hon, haven’t you realized yet? You’ve gravitated to a group of friends who are marrying the Trojans, for pity’s sake. That should tell you something. ”
“It should,” Tally drawled in amusement. “But I won’t be participating in a single ménage or even a few with Luc and Dev,” she said, her voice growing softer. “I want them both, Terrie. Forever. And that terrifies me. No one has ever wanted me forever. Besides, after I get back at them for what they did last night, they might not want me anymore, period. ” She sighed regretfully.
Terrie shook her head in confusion. “But I thought you enjoyed it. ”
Tally leaned back in her chair, her eyes narrowing. “I did. But it gives them the upper hand. You know I can’t allow that. ”
A hint of worry entered her friend’s expression. “You’re plotting. Oh hell. Tally, Lucian and Dev are not men you can just mess with at will. They’re more dominant than even Jesse is. ”
Tally frowned over at her friend. “Marriage is making you soft,” she accused her archly.
An incredulous laugh burst from Terrie. “Tally, I rather enjoy keeping Jesse comfortably happy. The benefits are incredible. I’m not getting mixed up in one of your schemes. ”
Tally smiled over at her confidently. Terrie so loved to play hard-to-get when it came to getting in trouble. “He might spank you harder next time. ”
Terrie’s eyes sparked with reluctant interest.
“I bet he’s let up on the punishment side of the benefits. ” Tally sighed regretfully. “Men do get so confident after a few months of marital bliss. Why, I bet he thinks you’re so well trained now that he doesn’t have to do more than give you a sweet little love tap here and there, instead of a nice spanking, to remind you of the pleasure. ”
Terrie’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “That’s not nice. ”
Tally shrugged. “But true. Yes?”
Terrie leaned back in her chair. “You’ve never been married,” she stated. “How do you know?”
Tally arched her brow mockingly. “I’m not exactly a virgin, sweetie. Just because I have an orgasm issue doesn’t mean I don’t know how men work. ”
“Orgasm issue, huh?” Terrie said drolly as she played with her coffee cup. She stared down at it for a second and Tally knew she had her.
“So. ” Terrie raised her head, anticipation lighting her eyes. “What did you have in mind?”
Tally smiled slowly, confidently. “It’s really a very simple plan,” she assured her. “All I need you to do is help me sneak into The Club tonight. ” She ignored the incredulous horror that filled her friend’s eyes. “I’ll take care of the rest. ”
“Oh man, Tally. ” Terrie shook her head as amusement suddenly overcame her. “We’re going to go to hell, aren’t we?”
A satisfied grin shaped Tally’s lips in reply. “Well, if we do, we’ll definitely be roommates. Wonder how hard it would be to sneak in the ventilation system?”
Their laughter echoed through the kitchen, a reminder of the nights spent laughing and crying, philosophizing and generally creating mayhem before Terrie’s marriage. Mayhem is in the eye of the beholder, though, Tally thought in satisfaction. Tonight, she would remind Lucian and Devril Conover of just that fact.
Chapter Sixteen
