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She was dressed in one of Chase's T-shirts and her bronze panties. A sheet and a finely sewn heirloom quilt covered her, and beside her Chase lay, his arm thrown over her stomach as he slept.
She was lying there wishing she could roll away from him, wishing she could get enough distance between them to make sense of the feelings that kept moving through her.
She had dreamed of sleeping with him. Now that she was there, in his bed, sleep was the furthest thing from her mind. Kia just wanted to make sense of exactly what was happening, right now, inside her.
Chase lay relaxed against her, his head close to hers, his larger, more powerful body warming her. She had to restrain the urge to stroke her hand along his arms, to lay her head against his chest, and ask him why the hell he was doing this to her.
He was messing her head up, messing her heart up, and she had no idea how she was supposed to act now, or how she was supposed to feel.
Lying in his arms was heaven and hell.
She closed her eyes and fought the emotions she couldn't seem to bury deep enough to hide from. Tears flowed from the corners of her eyes, and she swore she wasn't going to turn in his arms and beg him to. make sense of this for her.
Her head was hurting. That was the problem, she assured her-self. She felt bruised and frightened, and so terribly off balance now.
Which was worse? Lying alone in her own bed, or lying with Chase and fighting to hold herself away from him?
"If you keep crying, Kia, you might well break my heart. "
Her eyes jerked open as Chase shifted beside her and leaned up, staring down at her as he lifted his hand from her hip and brushed a tear from her cheek.
"It's the headache," she whispered, her lips trembling.
"I know, baby. " He kissed her temple gently. "Dr. Sanjer can't give you anything more right now. "
His hand cupped her neck, his fingertips moving against the back of her head, so gently. Caressing and massaging, stroking her flesh as another tear fell.
"You're never going to let me get over you, are you?" she finally asked, feeling the gentle, easy movements at the base of her neck relaxing a bit of the pain away.
Oh, that felt nice. Her lashes fluttered closed for a moment as she breathed in, letting that slow, easy massage penetrate her brain.
"Never," he agreed, but his voice was soft, easy. A whisper of knowledge that flowed through her as he shifted closer to her, or did he pull her against him?
She wasn't certain now. She knew his fingers didn't stop that slow, easy glide, and the more he caressed the hollow at the base of her head, the more the headache eased.
"I like that," she finally sighed.
"When Cameron was a boy, he used to get headaches," he told her. "I'd watch Mom rub his head. She said even kids knew how to stress out. You don't have to stress out, Kia. I'll keep you safe. "
"From everyone but you," she sighed, tucking her face against his chest.
"From everyone but me," he agreed, his voice heavy despite his gentle tone.
She let a bittersweet smile form on her lips as his fingers stroked her neck. Kia knew she should be pulling away. Better to deal with the headache than to deal with Chase, in his bed, curled against him as the darkness wrapped around them, heavy with sensuality.
"Why did you hide for the past two years, Kia?" She felt his lips against her brow again. "Why didn't you let Rebecca Harding and her little friends take the fall as liars rather than putting it on your head and taking everything on your own shoulders?"
Why had she? She breathed out roughly, her fingers digging into the comforter covering her as she tried to hold on to her determination.
"I'm not going to let it go," he assured her. "Tell me why?"
"Because it was easier," she finally whispered. And it was only partially the truth. "Rebecca didn't start that grief, Chase. I did. I trusted the wrong person, and I married the wrong man. I needed time. "
"Don't lie to me. " The rough whisper was breathed against her cheek. "Right here, right now, Kia. Give me the truth. "
"Because I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away from you, and I didn't want to humiliate myself further. "
There. She had said it. She admitted to him what she had fought against admitting even to herself. She was licking her wounds; it was a partial truth. She was embarrassed. Who wouldn't have been? But she had also known she was weak. Drew had seen it. Even Rebecca had known of the fascination Kia had for Chase. And the thought of further rejection had kept her curled inside herself like a frightened child.
