“Virtual,” I say, the words slipping out like it was the easiest choice I’ve ever made. A calm warmth envelops me as the meaning seeps in. It’sthe peace.
Carla’s face goes wide with a victorious smile. She’s gloating because she’s right.She’s always fucking right.
“I knew it, I knew this was gonna happen.”
“It’s not like I’m moving here permanently, or even full time. I’ll be home in less than a week!” I try my best to appease Jess.
“Well, whatever house you end up buying or renting, be very aware how many bedrooms you need. One for you, one for each of the girls, one for a nursery, and one for me and Eden. Got it?”
I laugh. “Yes ma’am, understood.”
“Ugh, don’t call me ma’am.”
“Ooh, we’re spicy today, aren’t we?” I ask Jess.
“Yeah, well my best friend just told me she’s going bicoastal and I’m having a hard time adjusting to the idea.”
“You could just think about it like you have a built-in, all expenses-paid vacation whenever you want it, though. And, if Tommy starts traveling more, you could always just come stay with me while he’s gone. My door will be open for you,always.”
“Tommy!” Jess yells away from the mic, “I need you to go to Asia again, soon, okay?”
I burst out laughing. “That’s the spirit.”
“Are you sure you really want to stay there? I mean, what if you run intohim?”
“If I do, so what? I have just as much right to be here. I’m tired of letting other people have that kind of power over me and affect what I do, or even where I live. I’m doing this becauseI wantto be here. I want to live by the lake, and have my kids grow up around their uncle and their grandma Sandy.” Well, Gigi Sandy, that’s what she told me she wanted to be called when I let her know I was going to be finding a permanent residence nearby. She all but begged me to just move in with her and Jim. I’m stronger now, but I’m not strong enough to go live in Liam’s childhood home.
“And this has nothing to do with the Adonis you’re dating?”
“No, it doesn’t. I was already hatching this plan before he came back in the picture. And I wouldn’t call it dating. Coffee, a walk, and one movie night doesn’t constitute a relationship. And for the love of god, please don’t tell Tommy or Damian about this. It’s bad enough Damian found out about my engagement before I could tell him. Let me live down the embarrassment of my one-day betrothal first, please?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll keep my mouth shut.” I can hear Tommy in the background, “Can you tell me about it later?” I know she’s probably nodding her head. I laugh inwardly.
“Hey, since Tommy’s right there, can you have him send me the paperwork on the Porsche? I’m gonna get rid of it.”
“What? No! Just buy another car.”
I laugh. “I don’t even have a place to live, or a garage, let alone one for two. If the girls are coming out here in a couple weeks, I need something we’ll all fit in. It also has to be car-seat friendly.” God, I can’t believe I’m starting the whole baby thing all over again.
“Lame. There goes your ‘hot, bad-ass bitch’ vibe.”
“I think I’m giving up on that aspiration. New vibe is ‘coastal grandma.’ I’m just owning it.”
“Yeah, I tried, but you’re right. You’ve always been a grandma at heart.”
“Yup.”
“Well, fine, I’ll tell Tommy about the paperwork, and then I’ll email you the confirmation for the private travel for you, and then when you and the girls are going back, okay?”
“Thank you, Jess.”
“Talk to you soon, babe. Bye!”
“Bye.”
I set my phone down on the small iron table in the backyard, the same one Georgia used to put her plastic wine glass on every night. It’s early evening, but the breeze is already rolling in. The grasses sway and the eucalyptus trees brush against each other and I inhale deeply.
I’m feeling a lot better than I was a week ago. I wouldn’t say I’m great, but I would say I’ve made peace with some things. Like Liam probably knows about his child by now, and he still hasn’t contacted me. I’ve accepted that, hard as it is. I was foolish and probably too blinded and desperate from the divorce to see that Liam was never reallyreal. It was just a lust-filled couple of weeks, with someone I never really knew.
