“Oh, but I do feel nothing. No, nothing at all.” Jane gripped Elizabeth’s hand so tightly that it hurt. “You see, I have nothing to complain of. I am alive; I am without any significant pain. More than I had any expectations upon merely a week ago — I am wholly and completely… satisfied.”
“Jane—”
“Lizzy. I beg you.”
Jane was stiff, not moving. The pain in the voice was real.
So Elizabeth embraced her tightly and said nothing else. After a while Jane let herself soften, and she embraced Elizabeth in return and wept. And then once she had cried herself nearly to sleep, and Elizabeth had almost fallen asleep as well, Jane rolled over, and embraced her. “And I have my Lizzy — so long asyouare near, I’ll never be able to repine upon any account.”
The next morning immediately after breakfast Mr. Collins left to return to Hunsford, as he did not consider himself at liberty to use a curate for another Sunday’s sermon, but as he climbed into their carriage, which would take him to the post station, he looked at Elizabeth with a grotesquely meaningful look, and promised to return in just a few days.
Shortly after he had left Mrs. Phillips called on them, shouting and exclaiming as she entered the apartment. “The news. It is awful.”
Mrs. Bennet embraced her sister. “What further tragedy has befallen us?”
“You'll not believe it — Mr. Bingley is removing the whole household to London for the winter. I heard it directly from Mrs. North. There is a huge amount of provisions they shall give to the poor, they had set aside a stock of white soup for a planned ball — decorations ordered, stationery for invitations, everything. All cancelled.”
Mrs. Bennet gasped, her mouth fell open, she pressed her hand to her chest and said with a small yelp, “No, but what about Jane?”
“That’s the worst of it!” Mrs. Phillips exclaimed. “They say that now that she is a blind woman he’ll refuse to have anything to do with her. That he would hang about her room night and day — that was what the maid said. Only Lizzy would also be sitting there, but it still was intimate — enough to clearly set expectations. Then as soon as he heard she was blind, he decided to leave Netherfield the next day. Mr. Bingley is already gone to London!”
Jane and Elizabeth both sat in the corner of the drawing room while their aunt exclaimed upon this.
Mrs. Bennet clasped her hands together. “Oh, oh, oh!”
“That is not the only part of it! They say that Mr. Bingley’s mother was blind, and that he hated her for it. And this is why he’ll have nothing to do with our Jane. What a horrible, ill featured man. I dare say I never liked him in the slightest — there was something about the way that Mr. Bingley always smiled. No one could like such a villain.”
“Oh, oh, oh! Jane, you’ll never marry now. If only… If only Mr. Bingley had fallen in love with you while you were ill — a gentleman is quite likely to do so with a woman in such a position.”
“It is all right, Mama,” Jane said softly. She forced a smile that made Elizabeth’s heart hurt. “I am happy, wholly happy and content with my situation. I need nothing but my family… the love of you all. Say nothing, Lizzy — I can remember what it was like to see, and what each of you look like, and… I'll never be angry for any cause. Never. I am content.”
“It is all Mr. Bennet’s fault,” Mrs. Bennet exclaimed, “I should have made him call the carriage to take you — I wanted to, you remember, but he said the horses were needed for the farm.”
“That is not what happened.” Elizabeth’s hands fisted the fabric of the sofa. Her anger was like what she had felt when Bingley said he would abandon Jane.
“It is — your father is always so tight with money! Never spending when he must. And now Jane is—”
“Mama.” Elizabeth spoke with the low deep warning growl that a dog might use before it leapt on an intruder.
Mrs. Bennet looked at her, and Elizabeth clamped her teeth together. Jane would not wish to see — no hear, since she could only hear — her become really angry at her mother. And she would not harm Jane for the world.
“If only I hadinsistedthe carriage be called for—” Mrs. Bennet wiped at her eyes. “I thought I ought to. I care very much for Jane. My nerves were such a tangle that day — you would never have fallen ill!”
“No. No. No.” Elizabeth harshly sneered at her mother. “You didnot. You do not. No.”
Jane put her hand on Elizabeth’s and squeezed, trying to calm her and keep peace as she always had.
“It really will be well, Mama! It will,” cried Jane. But Elizabeth knew Jane mainly spoke to her.
It was as though slapping Bingley had let something loose, and all her control over herself was gone. Like she was a tower of rage and ready to snap at anyone or anything.
Jane.
Jane didn’t deserve this. How dare the world treat the sweetest person so maliciously?
“No it won’t! Jane, it won't be well.” Mrs. Bennet rocked in place, and panted as she replied, wringing her hands compulsively. “It will not be well unless you convince Mr. Bingley to marry you. No one will ever marry a blind woman! That’s what Mr. Collins said. Lizzy, you must marry to save us all. But you are such a contrary, willful child— Lizzy, when Mr. Collins returns on Monday, you must convince him to marry you. I believe he means to ask.”
“I will not.”
