He wished that he had told Bingley to mention nothing ofhisinvolvement in the matter. He did notwantElizabeth to think that he helped her family so that she would think better of him. He wanted her to think better of him… because he now deserved to have her think better of him.
Your selfish disdain for the feelings of others.
He… he had been selfish, and he had not thought about Elizabeth’s feelings, or the feelings of so many others.
And he did not want to be selfish.
Papa had taught him that so long as he showed an open hand to those who were dependent on him, and who he was connected to, and so long as he returned fair treatment for fair treatment, he had no other duties towards society.
The primary duties of a gentleman were towards his family, his dependents, his land, and his king.
The Almighty was also important.
But the feelings of those wholly unconnected with him had no importance.
Elizabeth had been wholly unconnected to him.
No, no, he did not even have that excuse.
Once they married, he still paid far more attention to his own pride than the feelings of his wife — he had been too focused upon his rights, her rights, and upon who was getting the better of their bargain. He had treated himself as an object to be bought or sold, and her as well, and he had been too full of this commercial notion of marriage to ever ask her:What do you want?
The next morning Bingley burst in on Darcy who sat over his breakfast with Colonel Fitzwilliam, who had stayed over the night again, and had convinced Mrs. North to have a bizarre and extremely stinky fish dish made for him for breakfast.
“Darcy, my dear, dear man! We are to be brothers!”Bingley burst in, followed by the butler who apologetically shrugged behind him.
The staff at his London townhouse was terrible at protecting him from anyone he actually wanted to see.
“From your mood,” Darcy stood to greet Bingley, “may I assume that your journey to Longbourn was a success?”
Bingley shouted, “Not at all! Not in the slightest!” As he said that he embraced Darcy with a full hug. “My dear man, I am so happy!”
Colonel Fitzwilliam looked at them with an amused grin. “Unusual for a man to be so happy after anunsuccessfuljourney.”
“Can you believe she was in London? London all this time! For the past month, since Christmas. She was in London! Just two miles from my rooms. I could have walked to see her any day. Perhaps the time when I thought I saw her on Bond Street itwasher.”
“Oh.” Darcy felt a sort of oddness about how he had mismanaged his marriage so far that he’d had no idea that his wife’s sister was present in London.
“Yes! I felt like quite the nitwit when I burst into Longbourn, banging the door open and demanding to see the lovely Jane, only to be told, turn round, turn round. Cheapside is your happy side.”
“That easy?”
“Well not quite. Bennet insisted I talk to him before he’d give the address. The man has a terrifying stare. He got the whole story of everything from me.”
Darcy winced. “Including my role in initially dissuading you from Jane?”
“Do not worry. I told him all about how you had explained that you had made a mistake.”
This did not at all relieve Darcy of the twinge he feltat hearing that his behavior had been bandied about with Mr. Bennet. That Elizabeth had said she was presently not in communication with her father did not make the matter better.
Colonel Fitzwilliam raised his eyebrows. “Darcy admitted he made a mistake to you as well? Marriage changed him. This is why I intend to never marry.”
“You should! Being loved by a perfect angel is enough happiness to be worth anything. I am wholly prepared to be changed by Jane!”
“You called on her after riding back to London, and then mutually convinced each other of your regard?” Darcy asked.
“She agreed to be my wife! I feel terrible. She told me about how sad and surprised she was when I left — and Caroline. Oh, I am quite cross withher. Did you know that Caroline and Louisa had bothknownJane was in London? She called on us as soon as she arrived in town, and it had been three weeks, and Caroline still had not returned the call.”
“A way to announce the end of an acquaintance,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said. “These games are why I will never marry. Unless I change my mind.”
