Elizabeth folded her hands together underneath the blanket she’d wrapped around her and leaned back against the balcony. She would go up to knock on Caroline’s door, and if her friend let her in she would… well, stay with her.
But for a little longer she wanted to just experience the peacefulness of the universe, of the outside, and of this awareness of the people and warmth inside, and the clear coldness here.
The balcony door opened, and at first Elizabeth grimaced in annoyance at having her peaceful moment interrupted.
But then she perceived that it was Mr. Darcy.
He glowed in the moonlight. There were deep shadows of his eyes, and a pale glow on his skin.
He looked at her and swallowed.
For a long moment Darcy seemed to be unable to move, staring at her.
Elizabeth wondered what she looked like to him, wrapped in a blanket, lit by the candles from inside and the moon from high above.
The wind blew around them. Darcy stretched out his hand and softly brushed it over her cheek. “Elizabeth.”
Her heart pounded.
He swallowed again. He studied her.
She felt a shudder go through her body, and her stomach felt like it had fallen off the roof of a building and was hurtling towards the ground.
“Dearest Elizabeth.” And suddenly his hesitance was gone. “Dearest, loveliest Elizabeth, you must permit me to tell you how I admire and love you. How I have determined to offer you my hand, my heart, and my position in life.”
She did not know what to say as he continued.
“Every time we speak, I feel something in my chest, something that pulls towards you. I did not mean to marry at present. Not for some time. But it would be impossible for me to travel away from this county without first begging you to make me the happiest of men. When we converse you make me think. When I watch you move, and talk, and simply exist, I feel something significant, filled with meaning, and powerful. It is more than anything else that I have ever experienced. You show kindness, loyalty, and cleverness. You are more desirable, more worthy, and more perfect than any other lady of my acquaintance. It is impossible for me to not love you. Please, Elizabeth, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth, I beg you, end my uncertainty, and say that you will marry me.”
Elizabeth felt numb and distant, as though it was someone else speaking, and as though the cold wind had frozen her all the way through to her soul. “I cannot. Forgive me, but I cannot marry you.”
He stared at her.
The smile on his face slowly faded away.
Elizabeth shivered violently in the cold breeze. Seeing that Darcy compulsively began to take off his coat, to offer it to her.
Elizabeth put out her hands on his arms to stop him. “No, no.”
He gritted his teeth.
Swallowed.
Darcy turned as though he were about to leave the balcony, and Elizabeth ached to see him go. But he turned back. “So is that all the response I am to expect? That you cannot marry me. Might I enquire upon the causes of such a summary dismissal.”
Elizabeth felt terribly sad.
He stepped around in tiny circles on the balcony, his jaw tight, apparently unable to speak further.
“I do not mean to hurt you,” Elizabeth said desperately.
There was a real passion, a real feeling in his behavior.
“I truly do not wish to cause any pain to anyone,” Elizabeth added. “I do not. I beg you to understand that—”
“I am not in pain,” he bit out, each word sounding like the snapping jaws of a bear trap.
She grabbed his warm hands with her freezing ones. “I truly… did not know. Know that you felt so… do not… Please, do not be so unhappy.”
