His dark eyes poured into her like the moonbeams. “Elizabeth. Loveliest. Dearest. Elizabeth. I love you. Please… I beg you. I beg you — tell me there is a hope.”
A simple fact: He would not marry Caroline no matter what she said.
Elizabeth tasted the look in his eyes, sweet like syrup, and warm and rich like spiced chocolate.
Another simple fact: If she accepted Mr. Darcy’s offer, Caroline would never forgive her.
“I cannot, my concern for the feelings of another makes it impossible.”
He pulled back from her his jaw twitched. Then he growled, “My cousin. Well might I have guessed thathewould win the affection of the only lady I have ever loved… to see my hopes of happiness ruined, even though it means the happiness of a cousin who I love is a hard—”
“It is not a matter of—”
“Has he asked you to marry him yet? You know he must marry well — if you did not have such a great dowry, he’d show no interest in your heart.”
Something of Elizabeth’s sympathy for him was replaced by anger. She clenched her jaw, and withdrew towards the door, and said, “Mr. Darcy, you overstep yourself.”
He stared at her and then he slumped into himself, as though the substance that usually made him reserved and full of pride had dissolved.
“Oh, useless. Useless.” Darcy pressed both hands against his face. “All of it is useless. You make me act wholly other than my usual habits. I am generally a most calm man.”
He was wiping away tears.
Tears pricked her eyes as well. “I do not believe — I wish… Mr. Darcy. But it is impossible for me to marry you.”
He looked at her longingly.
A deep breath. Another breath. Then another deep breath.
He wiped his hand over his eyes.
It was a kick in her gut to see his unhappiness and longing. She had awantthat shocked her. She wanted to desperately wrap her arms around his waist and grip him with all her strength till he ceased to cry.
Her hand rose to reach towards his face.
“I truly, truly, truly wish… wish I could have given you the answer to make you happy,” Elizabeth said. “But… oh — Heavens! At such a time, nothing I might say will make it better. But you are a worthy gentleman, I believe that — oh, if only everything were different. Not so tangled!”
He made one of those stiff regal inclines of his head that would not have been out of place in the manners of a king.
“Then…” Darcy’s voice cracked. “Then God and the greatest of happiness go with you, Miss Elizabeth.”
Chapter Thirteen
After this scene Elizabeth could not return to the ball and pretend to be happy, or at least not to be miserable. But she also could not do as she had decided, and go to Caroline to comfortherinherdisappointment.
A disappointment whose totality had now been proven.
Mr. Darcy had fallen in love with her?
He had gone so far in his admiration that he had determined to marry her?
Elizabeth had not expected such.
She retreated from everyone, going through the familiar hallways to find the library.
But then as she was about to open that door, two things stopped her.
The first was the memory of Darcy’s intense eyes as they talked in that room about how he had been harmed and learned to not trust those who harmed him — she desperately hoped that he did not come to despise her for refusing him.
