Emily came up and started crying too, seemingly imitating Georgiana, and she wrapped her little arms around Elizabeth’s legs. Elizabeth smiled, and with her own teary look, she picked up the child.
“There, there,” Elizabeth said. She then took Georgiana’s hand again with her free hand. “Perhaps tears are not so useless as I once said, and I know you’ll find something useful to do.”
“I wish you were staying with us forever.”
Elizabeth smiled wistfully.
Colonel Fitzwilliam asked, “Mrs. Wickham, might I inquire as to your next plans. I believe your father is in Hertfordshire. Do you mean to stay with him now that your husband is deceased?”
“For a time. And I mean for the children to stay permanently with him. I have a thought that I can pursue a career doing what I have these lastweeks, as a nurse for hire. I enjoy the work, and I believe I have a decent talent for it. There is enough money in the profession that if I diligently save, I shall be able to afford a decent apprenticeship for George and set aside something for Emily afterwards.”
“Not a bad scheme,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said approvingly. “I’ll happily recommend you to anyone. I do not see anything that lacks respectability in that idea. Your youth and beauty is such that some may not trust your experience, but I have watched you closely. The present case is a famous one, and when it is known that you nursed Mr. Darcy back to health, it will add to your credit in the profession.”
“Should I use rouge to make myself appear ugly and old?” Elizabeth laughed.
“No, no,” Darcy said. “You cannot mean to do that.”
“You mean the rouge?” She replied with a forced smile.
“No, going into service. You should not.”
Elizabeth put Emily down and placed her hands on her hips. “Why would I not?”
“You are a gentlewoman. You should be able to live as a gentlewoman. It is wrong that—”
“None of that nonsense about how you killed my husband and robbed me of support. I would have found myself forced to do this, or something similar, within three months if he was still alive—only then I would be constantly frightened that he would visit someday to demand my wages and anything I saved. I do not believe I shall ever marry again. There is too much dependency, too much anxiety. One depends on the good character of their husband far too much for comfort.”
“Does not George need a father?” Darcy asked. “And Emily?”
“Needdoes not come into it. And as for niceness, you have convinced him that he can hold his head up high in any society by talking about how bravely his father shot and was shot. What does a child ever get from a fatherbutbragging rights and money?”
“Affection, love. The time spent with them. I learned much of my character, and what I know of importance from my father.”
“And, as I understand it, Mr. Wickham had an excellent example both in your father, and in his own, and it availed him little.”
“There were mistakes in his education,” Darcy replied. His throat was tight.
Elizabeth shrugged, and she smiled. He could see from how her eyes looked that it was not a real smile. “So, while it is certainly not goodbye, not for a while, you have heard my plans.”
“You cannot, cannot.” Darcy said, “Mrs. Wickham, surely you do not mean to cease to live as a gentlewoman.”
“I prefer by far the work and wages of a nurse to that of a governess.”
“Your father cannot approve of this!”
“It will not be the first time that I did something which my father did not approve. And, though I look forward to seeing him again, very much, I do not always approve ofhim.”
“You cannot have considered this properly. A life of endless toil and drudgery would wear on you—this cannot be a well-reasoned plan.”
“An endless life of toil and drudgery? Mr. Darcy, I assure you, I have no fear of effort, difficulties, or frustrations. That is the usual lot of mankind, and I will not recoil. But, while I am deeply grateful to you for your friendship, and for your kindness, in the end, such decisions solely belong to me.”
“It is unnecessary—you can ask your friends for aid. There is nothing shameful. I can—”
“I will not take charity.” A flash of anger crossed Elizabeth’s face. “Never, never. Never.”
She glared at him.
“Then marry me.”
