Elizabeth blinked at him in confusion. Emily had come back to grab Elizabeth around the legs, and she slowly picked the girl up without looking away from Darcy.
“Oh, yes,” Georgiana exclaimed with sudden glee.
“By Zeus.” Colonel Fitzwilliam pressed his hand against his face to hide a wide smile. “Cousin, I perceive that you have taken leave of your senses. Piercing arrows from childlike gods, and all.”
“No, that cannot be the case,” Elizabeth said. “But Mr. Darcy has quite clearly taken leave of his senses. Where could such a notion come from? Why—why?”
“I assure you I am serious. I do not make any joke or jest. I would not in such—”
“Heavens,” Elizabeth replied. “I know thatyounever joke about serious matters. And it would not be an amusing jest. What are you about? Why? Where did the notion come from?”
He stared at her, willing her to understand that he was serious. He could hardly explain to herwhyhe wished to do this, because he did not know himself. He only knew that he did not want the world...his world...to become a place where he could not always know that she was well, and that she was happy.
He also wished to always have her near to talk to, for his own sake.
She stared back at him.
“Elizabeth, it is not a matter of—I wish this. And it would always protect you from want, and the necessity to work.”
“I do not think I am at much risk of ever facing starvation, nor my children. I have seen too much to consider anything else under the august heading of ‘want’.”
“Please, I do not—” Darcy did not even understand why she did not simply agree. He knew that he was considered an excellent catch. Except, hehadmurdered her first husband. That might be what made her hesitate. “Please, I promised my father when he was dying that I would take care of Mr. Wickham. This way I can fulfil that promise.”
“Ah, of course,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said cheerfully. “Though I would note that you took goodcareof him already.”
Everyone in the room turned to stare at him. Colonel Fitzwilliam grinned sunnily.
Elizabeth giggled into their shocked expressions.
Seeing Darcy and Georgiana’s expressions she said, “I am his widow, it is my right to be amused by such gallows humor.”
“Cousin,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said, “if your concern is only making sure that she is cared for, give Mrs. Wickham a pile of cash.”
“I cannot expiate my guilt withmoney!”
“That is what this is about?” Elizabeth had a serious expression on her face. “You have some pagan notion that you must marry the widow of the man you killed, and that will let you face the ancestral spirits. Mr. Darcy, I have already told you this many times: You cannot undo what you have done. You can only live for the future.”
“And this is a future that I want.”
“Marrying me would change nothing. You still will have shot your childhood friend through the heart. I expect nothing of this sort. I don’t have any pagan notions.”
Darcy stared at her. He felt queer, almost panicked.
It was like when she had nearly left after Colonel Fitzwilliam first arrived. He could not let her ever leave. “I must, Imustdo something for you.”
“Fine, then pay for George’s education, and give me a thousand pounds for Emily’s dowry. I hate the idea of being the recipient of charity, but if that is what it takes to salve your conscience, I will suffer it to help you. You need not worry about the respectability of the matter—your guilty conscience will explain your motive to everyone.”
“I have said it already; I cannot expiate my guilt with money.”
“You cannot remove it with marriage either.” Elizabeth threw up her hands. She turned away from him. She opened and closed her fists repeatedly. “Lord! My mother would murder me—she would hunt me down and kill me in hot blood if she knew that I was refusing such an offer as you have made.”
“Please, look at me, Elizabeth. I see that you are upset. I imagine that you think I mean to offer you charity, but this is not a matter of charity.”
She turned around, “Mr. Darcy, you are not in your right senses. Can you not see how absurd it would be?”
“I would gain a wife whose competence and capability I trust. Someone who has proven to be a true sister and companion to Georgiana, a woman whose character is unquestionable, and—”
“It is not,” Elizabeth replied. “Anyone would assume I am a fortune hunter. And also the sort of woman who would elope at fifteen.”
