Poor, poor Elizabeth.
He would show her…he was not sure what. But he would show it to her. He would make her feel it. And in time she would enjoy every happiness that she deserved.
Their eyes held for a long time.
“You have conditions,” he prompted her again.
“Oh, yes.” She seemed startled. “Yes…I was asking for you to see to it that your family respects me when I am in their presence. I do not wish to cause difficulties. I do not care what they say when I am not present—I only wish for my position to be respected and honored. And if…ifIthink I have been insulted—I am to be the judge upon this point, not you—I ask you to support me in avoiding the company of someone who I have on several separate occasions found unpleasant Even if they are your dear relation.”
“Of course I will do what you ask. That is not a condition.”
“And promise to not speak unkindly of me even when I am not there. My father often spoke slightingly of my mother. I do not say that she didnot deserve it—you have even heardmespeak slightingly of her. But…I do not wish such a marriage.”
“I promise to always respect you in my words, whether you are present or not.”
“I don’t mean that when you have some matter of unhappiness—I am sure that such will arise one day. Let us not be one of those silly couples who marry without being able to imagine ever being at odds with their partner—I have done that once and I will not again. But when you are unhappy with me, I do not mean that you cannot speak honestly about what upset you with a dear friend if you need counsel. Just…”
“To speak of you with charity, and not slightingly.”
She nodded. Then with more confidence, Elizabeth said, “When we have our own children, I expect that they will receive a greater part of your support and affection, but—”
“No,” Darcy said firmly. “In every matter but the inheritance of Pemberley itself, which shall remain with Darcy blood, I shall treat George and Emily the same as children of my own blood and loins.”
Elizabeth opened and closed her mouth several times.
She took in a deep breath and smiled. “That satisfies me upon that matter. You know that I think that inheritances should generally be tied in a way that it is difficult for anything but the income to be wasted, but I trust you in that matter.”
“And now speak on,” Darcy said smiling. “I have no fear of your conditions after the first two.”
She blushed. She laughed nervously. “Ah, well. But do not say that before you have heard what the condition is. So then, finally…” She blushed again. The red went to her neck.
“You wish to delay our conjugal joining until such time as your mourning period is finished?” Darcy suggested. Obviously, she could not be ready so quickly to engage in that behavior. It would take time for her to become used to the idea of doing it again, so soon after her husband had died. At least Darcy assumed that was the case.
“What!?” Elizabeth squealed. He’d never heard anything like that tone from her. “No! No. No. No. Mr. Wickham ceased to act in that office long ago. And I have no…” she flushed and looked him in the eye in a way that made Darcy’s stomach twist and turn. “I assure you that when I hesitated, it was not due to any disgust for your person.”
Now it was Darcy’s turn to blush. He could not hold her gaze at this point. He felt an intense piercing desire for her, and a wish that he was healthy enough to express that desire without pain and concern for the only half healed ribs and gunshot wound.
“What then do you wish to ask?”
“Oh, I hate that I shall say this. I—there were circumstances. Things that happened in my marriage with Wickham. I wish you to understand…I—I do not know what I can expect. We have spoken about many things, butthisis a matter that naturally we have not touched on. I can make assumptions about your character, but while I trust your word, I do not trust my own assumptions.”
“Elizabeth,” Darcy said, “I confess myself to becoming more confused and concerned the longer you speak.”
“Yes.” She laughed, and she looked at him with a smile again. “So then, I hope you will accept my apology for the offence that my saying this may cause, but Imustspecify before marrying again that if you should attend upon common prostitutes, as Mr. Wickham did, I will not let you into my bed.”
He studied her.
There was again that vulnerability in her expression. That fierce yet brittle look to her.
He…he wanted her to feel safe. He did not feel offence. Instead, he felt rage towards Mr. Wickham. Though he did not really have a right tothatfeeling, having killed the gentleman.
“I know enough of gentlemen to think that I should not try to demand fidelity. I do not wish to hear pleasant lies. Mr. Darcy, I do not mean to say—oh, it is impossible to know everything about the character of a man.And even if I did know everything in your present character, men change so much over the course of years. Perhaps women gain far less benefit from knowledge than they imagine they do. I thought I understood Wickham, and I did not. Now I believe I understand you, but how can I trust that?”
“I do not believe that I am so changeable,” Darcy replied. “Even though at times I have shocked myself. Yet…when I have done so, I think that it was my established character displaying itself in a surprising manner.”
Elizabeth looked at him. Her wide eyes. Deep brown. The curls falling over her cheeks. Tanned skin. Serious lips. Freckles.
She smiled. “No, I imagine that you are not so changeable.”
