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She stared back at him in confusion. “Why? I swear, your family is not involved in this. ”
“Something more important than family is involved here,” he said then.
“What?” She threw her hands up in disbelief, amazed that Natches could find anything more important than family. From what she had seen since coming to Somerset, he wouldn’t just die for them, he killed for them. “What could be more important to you than your cousins or your uncle?”
“You. ”
She blinked up at him, and she swore she felt the very air around them become thicker, still, heavy with tension.
“You don’t mean that. ” She shook her head slowly. He had to be lying to her. He loved his family, he was loyal to them, loyal enough that he would lie to her.
It broke her heart, but she accepted it. She had no other choice.
“You don’t have to lie to me,” she whispered, moving around him as she put her hand to her brow and eased her palm over the perspiration forming there. “I know you have priorities. ”
“I’m glad you do. And I thought you knew, Chay, I don’t bother to lie to anyone. Wastes too much of my damned time. ”
She held her hand up while keeping her back turned to him. She couldn’t handle this. If he needed this bad enough to lie to her, then fine. He could have it. It wasn’t enough to tip Timothy off, and she knew Natches was going to do whatever the hell he wanted to do anyway.
“You can see the list and the questions,” she whispered, picking up her briefcase before turning to face him. “I’ll meet you at the hotel in the morning. ”
A sharp laugh left his throat. “Bullshit. You’re not leaving me. Not again, Chaya. I’ll tie you to the damned bed at night. ”
“And I’m not going to stand here and let you lie to me to protect your family. ” Something was building in her, shimmering like a bloodred cloud in front of her vision as she watched his eyes go from dark to light, watched moss green go brilliant green, like a forest in spring.
“You actually believe I’d lie to you like that?” He glowered back at her. “Baby, I don’t have to lie to you to get that list, those questions, or anything else I need out of you. All I have to do is get you beneath me. ”
And it snapped in her head then. Chaya felt herself almost sway in shock. He hadn’t used a condom last night or the night before. He had been bare, his semen spurting inside her, sending her crashing into another wave of release even as a part of her mind had whispered the warning. Each time, and her emotions had been in such disarray that she had ignored the implications.
She wasn’t protected.
“Not without a condom you won’t be. ” Her head snapped up, her vision clearing as fear surged through her. “And not without the truth between us. ”
“What the hell do you mean by that?”
“The truth? It’s a fairly easy concept . . . ”
“I mean the condom. ” His hand sliced through the air. “I’m safe, Chay, and you know it just as well as I do. I may have played some games in my life, but I always protected myself. ”
“This isn’t about STDs,” she snapped. “I’m not protected, Natches. I went off the agency-sanctioned shots last year when I thought I was resigning and didn’t have time to restart them. You need condoms. I can’t believe you didn’t use one last night. ”
Natches stared back at her. From her eyes, to her stomach. Back to her eyes and her stomach again as he swallowed tightly.
She wasn’t protected? He’d filled her more than once with his release the night before, pumping into her, crying her name, feeling her so sleek and hot, milking it from him.
Use a condom now? The first time he’d taken her, there’d been nothing between them either, and he remembered that last mission, wondering about the agency protection she used. Wishing she didn’t. Wishing he could fill her with his baby, to give back to her everything she had lost.
He blinked now, feeling the sweat that gathered on his back, the sense of hunger that suddenly raged through his body. He’d rationalized those thoughts as insanity years before. Her grief had marked him in a way he hadn’t expected, couldn’t have been prepared for, he had told himself.
But now it wasn’t grief. He was staring at her belly, seeing her growing round with his child, and the hunger for it grew.
“Are you okay?” Her eyes narrowed on him as he jerked his gaze back to hers. “I’m safe right now, Natches, but that doesn’t last long. Get the condoms. And stop lying to me. We’ll get along much better that way. ”
“No. ” He shook his head slowly, barely able to believe that word had slipped past his lips. They were numb, his throat was tight, thick with so many emotions he didn’t know how to make sense of them.
“Why?” She had a death grip on that briefcase and one on his soul. Hell, even he hadn’t known the grip she had on him until now. “Is the truth so damned hard?”
“The truth is easy. ” He had to fight to hold himself back, to keep from latching onto her, to keep from devouring her. “I meant, no condoms. ”
