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“Don’t turn this into a battle, Natches,” she told him fiercely. “Not yet. Not now. Being your lover is a far cry from being your lapdog. I don’t heel worth crap, and you should know that right up front. ”
“Like I didn’t figure that shit out in Iraq. ” Throttled male irritation spiked his voice and almost had her grinning.
Dawg didn’t bother to hide his smile.
“Damn, son,” he drawled at Natches. “I think you’re losing this battle. Do you need any pointers? Advice?”
“So says the man who blackmailed his lover. ” Chaya rolled her eyes. “Really, Dawg, I don’t think Natches needs any advice from you. It could end up getting him arrested. ”
Dawg scowled as he turned to Natches. “Not like you to tell tales, cousin. ”
“He didn’t tell the tale. I believe it’s become something of a local legend. I’ve heard about it from several sources, Dawg. Small-town secrets and all that. ” She smiled grimly.
“Go home, Dawg. ” Natches hadn’t taken his eyes off her nor had his face lost the edge of irritation burning into anger.
Dawg grinned. “But this is more fun. Crista’s sick again this morning. That virus is kicking her ass for some reason, and she ran me off. ”
“Then go to work. ” Natches and Chaya snapped the order back at him simultaneously, causing him to chuckle.
“Sorry, kids, but this project is kind of important right now and I’ve been working long and hard on it. ” He turned to Natches. “You know where I’m at when you two get this ironed out. Try not to take all day though, because Crista’s getting put out over my absence from the store. Like she can’t run it better than I do anyway—when she isn’t sick. ” He shook his shaggy head as he turned to the door, slid it back open and stepped outside.
When it snapped closed again, Chaya pushed her fingers through her hair and stared back at Natches, aware that if she gave in to him now then she may as well turn every ounce of independence she possessed over to him.
It wasn’t that he was controlling, there was a difference between protective and controlling, she was finding. Her first husband, Craig, had been controlling. Natches was protective.
“I’ll follow you back to the hotel. ” He grimaced, adding, “Then head back here. I’ll meet up with you at the diner. ”
“No, Natches. I don’t need a bodyguard. ”
“What’s wrong with having a damned partner? Hell, Chaya, I’m not asking for anything you can’t give me here. ”
She had never had a partner though. She had worked independently within a team, but she had never had a partner.
She shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans and breathed out roughly. “You can follow me back to the hotel if you need to, but not to the room. I need to take care of checking out, and I have an early meeting scheduled in one of the other rooms with the other agents working the case. I’ll be lucky to make it to the diner on time this morning. ”
She rubbed at her neck as she stared back at him, watching his expression settle a bit, though not by much. He still wasn’t comfortable with this.
“I’m not used to a partner either, Natches. I’m used to working alone—you know that. But I’m trying. I really am. ”
And she was, but she needed this morning to get a grip on herself and what was changing in her life. He was changing things inside her that she had never imagined she would allow.
“You’re too damned independent sometimes, Chaya. ” He stalked across the room and pulled her into his arms. One broad hand cupped the back of her head, his head lowered, and his lips covered hers.
Instantly, heat rose within her. Her breath caught and the passion that raged through her with each touch began to burn across her system.
“That’s why. ” He pulled back, his gaze so intent, so filled with emotion that she felt her chest clench at the sight of it. “Because I’ve never known what you make me feel, Chay. And losing it would destroy me. ”
Those words haunted her that morning. She parked at the hotel, feeling his eyes on her as she entered and got the paperwork started for her checkout.
She moved from there straight to the meeting in one of the other agents’ rooms, thanking God there were donuts and coffee because she had refused the breakfast Natches had offered her. Her nerves had been strung too tight, her senses too off balance to eat that early.
As the meeting wound up and she saved her notes to her laptop, she was looking forward to finally getting to her room. She would have an hour, maybe, to shower and get her thoughts in order before checking for Cranston’s e-mail and making her notes for the interviews.
That hour didn’t help though. As she stored her luggage in the rented car and stared back at the hotel, she felt the old fears rising inside her again. The same fears that had kept her from staying the year before. The ones that had kept her chasing danger rather than making a trip to Somerset long before any missiles had been hijacked.
That fear of loss.
As she slid into the car, she thought about living versus losing, and realized that if she didn’t manage to lose Natches, then it would be the first time she had managed not to lose someone she loved.
