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Funny, he could hear the ache in her voice for him, just that easy. As though he were that much a part of her, that he knew how much she ached as he talked.
He had never felt another person the way he felt Chaya. The way he had always felt Chaya.
“I caught Faisal’s transmission the day they brought you into that camp,” he said instead of answering her question. “I checked the area, desperate for a place to hide you, because I just knew I was going to pull out a mess when I went in for you. The caves were a no go. It was the first place they would have checked. There was no other cover, no other place to hide but a hole. ”
Chaya felt her heart clench as he caught her hand and pulled her to his lap, surrounding her with warmth when she wanted to surround him with it.
“I made that hole. I was going to shove you in it and try to find cover above you. I hate closed-in places, Chay. Dark, small places. That was always my weakness. ”
His cheek brushed against her hair.
“You were in that hole with me,” she whispered.
And he nodded.
“I couldn’t leave you in there by yourself. You were all but blind, hurt. When I killed Nassar later, Chay, I think I scared myself, because I enjoyed it. I saw you, so brave and strong, and trying so hard to fight when you should have been leaning against me, crying, doing something other than storing your strength in case you had to go down fighting. And you would have gone down fighting. ”
She felt his heart beat beneath her cheek and held on to him, because he had forced himself into that hole with her.
“I was losing it,” she told him then. “Before you pulled me out of there. I was ready to break, Natches. And in that hole, when I heard them coming for us, I was screaming in my head until you kissed me. ” That kiss had pulled her back, it had saved her. “You made me strong. Because of you I was able to run. You held me up, you almost carried me. And because of you, I was able to stand the darkness in my own mind, and the fear that they were going to hurt me again. I didn’t want to hurt anymore. And when I lost Beth. You kept me sane. With your touch, with your kiss, with all the wild pleasure you poured into me that night. ” She stared up at him, seeing his somber expression, even in the dark, her heart breaking for the man who had forced himself into that hole with her, and was now trying to face his own nightmare. Alone.
His expression was shadowed, dark, but his eyes were alive. And they brought tears to her eyes. Fierce, shockingly determined. He would do whatever he had to do to make sure Dayle Mackay never hurt anyone he loved, ever again.
“Clayton Winston called while you were in the shower earlier,” he said. “He got to talk to Christopher. Then DHS called him back. They’ve arranged transportation through a private broker to D. C. , where he can see his son in a supervised visit. ”
Chaya closed her eyes, thankful Cranston had followed through with that.
“Clayton’s dying,” he said. “Doctors don’t think he’ll see the year out. He needed this before he passes on. ”
“And what do you need, Natches?”
It felt like an epitaph, the way he was talking, as though he wouldn’t return to her, and she refused to consider that.
“Come on. ” He lifted her from his lap and drew her through the doorway into the bedroom. There, he closed the door to the control room and locked it with a flick of his fingers.
“You didn’t answer me. ” She turned to face him in the darkness of the room. The drapes had been drawn that morning and the room was almost pitch black now.
He turned on the low lamp by the bed and turned to face her.
“You’re coming back to me,” she whispered, her breath hitching. “Don’t you look at me like that. You’re going to be covered, and you’re coming back to me. ”
And tears filled her eyes, because she couldn’t imagine anything less.
“I’m coming back to you,” he promised her. “One way or the other, I’m coming back, Chay. But how will you see me, how will our child see me if I come back with blood on my hands?”
His father’s blood. She could see it in his face, his uncertainty that he could leave Dayle Mackay alive.
“Bullies are weak,” she told him huskily. “You get what DHS needs and they’ll break him. I swear to you, Natches, they’ll break him and they’ll put the rest of that group away for good. You’ll win. ”
She knew they would. She was the interrogation specialist, but she only interrogated subjects of interest, she didn’t interrogate suspects, nor did she interrogate suspected terrorists, homegrown or foreign. There was a division for that, men and women who made her worst nightmares seem like a picnic in the park.
He nodded. The confidence, the sheer knowledge in his eyes that he would do whatever it took to protect what belonged to him, humbled her. He tried to be a shield between the world and those he loved, always trying to protect them, to make certain danger never touched them. And he never expected, never asked, for the same, though he knew Dawg, Rowdy, and Ray Mackay had always been there for him. He had never asked.
“We’re good to go then. ” He nodded before moving to her, his lips settling on hers like a promise. A gentle, forever promise, as sweet and heated as a dream.
“We?
?re good to go. ” She nodded, and she pushed back the fears. She would cover the angles, she would create a bubble around him that could do nothing less than protect him from any outside forces.
